Today I want to talk about the power of a compliment in life, but more specifically in marriage.
I think one of my favorite things about my and Derrick's relationship has always been the fact that we appreciate it other - and we let the other one know it. And it makes me sad to realize that some couples are not like that. Words can be so powerful and, while they don't always trump actions, they can heal and uplift and encourage. Or hurt and break down and push away.
Men need encouragement just as much as women. They need to be admired and respected more. They need to feel like a man, a protector, a provider. I try my best to find specific and general ways to compliment Derrick. To build him up. To show him that I appreciate who he is. Don't just think that because he's a strong man he doesn't need to hear that you love him. And respect him. And how you love and respect him. There are so many kind words that you can share with your husband, and I encourage you to try it today:
"I appreciate all you do for me."
"You make me feel safe."
"You make me laugh like no one else does."
"You're handsome. I love your smile."
"The way you think and figure things out amazes me."
"I'm proud of who you are and all you've overcome."
"I like watching you work (or play video games or play sports or whatever his hobby is)."
"I like talking to you about things. Your opinion is important to me."
"Thank you for taking care of me."
"Thank you for taking time with me."
"Thanks for taking me out to eat the other night; I really enjoyed the evening."
Be creative. Be honest. Be specific to your husband (or boyfriend...or best friend...or parent...or sibling).
Now, I will brag a minute on my husband. Yesterday I was walking through the living room, and Derrick looked up at me and said, "You're beautiful. I'm not sure if I've told you that yet today. But you're beautiful." And sometimes when we're eating dinner or lying in bed, he'll tell me, "You're a wonderful wife. I probably don't tell you that enough, but you are." Even if I don't feel beautiful or agree with him - it makes me feel secure that he notices.
Women need to be adored. And we want to feel appreciated and needed. Or at least I do. It means so so much to me when Derrick takes those seven seconds to look into my eyes and appreciate who I am.
If you're married, I hope that your husband appreciates you. If he doesn't, start by respecting him with your words and actions, and I pray that he, over time, will follow by adoring you. If not, I think you're amazing and strong for loving him - keep loving him.
This is SOOOOO TRUE!!! Luckily, I feel like this is a big part of Ev and I's relationship, but it is so meaningful. I love it when he gets that look in his eyes and goes "oh wow, you are with me?? You are just so beautiful!" and I run through all the reasons in my head that he is wrong (e.g. like i SO do not have makeup on right now) and then he kisses me to make me forget all of them! He's precious!! Those moments are so meaningful!!! I feel like I do this for him a lot too, and I think he would say that I do... but you can always do more! What a great reminder friend!! Can't wait til tomorrow's phone date :)
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