Tuesday, November 1, 2011

11.01.11

I have been married for one month. In some ways it seems like longer - like we're already an old married couple. In some ways it feels like we just got married yesterday. I still can't believe I'm married. It feels so normal. It just faded into being - no crashing and clanging - I just woke up, and he was there. It felt right.

I have learned some things after being married a month, and a lot of what I learned while dating has been put into practice as well.

1. Always think before you speak. Sometimes Derrick will leave clothes lying on the floor or will neglect doing something that I think he should have. Sometimes I disagree with something he did or I'm having a bad day and find it easy to have negative thoughts. But it's important that before speaking, before nagging, before becoming negative and hurting him - I play out the situation. I take a step back. Is it worth it? Is it really that big of deal? Or is it something too small to make a big deal over. Too many women make their husbands bitter towards them because they constantly nag and criticize them. And I will not let that happen.

2. Sometimes it's nice just to be in the same house. Derrick and I are both independent in a way. We need our alone time. Time to enjoy ourselves and re-energize. I like watching netflix, reading, writing...he loves playing Battlefield. And sometimes that's okay. Sometimes it's nice to just know that your person is in the next room.

3. It's easy to become too comfortable. Our house is very comfortable. Being with Derrick is very comfortable. And sometimes all I want to do is cook and then relax. Do nothing at night. Watch a lot of television. Just be. It's harder to be the creative, organized, productive housewife than I had imagined it would be- it's easier to just hang out and relax. But I'm working on it. Blogging again. Looking forward to getting another book printed. Working on our budget - and paying our first bills. Taking time to read. And hopefully adding some more projects to the mix. It's nice to be Derrick's best friend and watch television together - but it's also important to do more.

4. Aldi is awesome. If you've never grocery shopped at Aldi - do it. Derrick and I went there the day after our honeymoon to fill up our pantry - and we've made it our Sunday afternoon date every since. They have everything you need - and they'll save you a lot of money. Newlyweds - Aldi will fit very nicely into your budget :) Go there.

5. Going to church together is important. Derrick and I have been going to church together since we started dating, and we've been doing the video ministry together for a year. It is so important that we make time for God together. We worship together. We learn together. We serve together. We get up, get out of bed, and go to church together. We're now in a married couples Sunday school class - and I think that's going to be a big blessing in our growth as a couple and with the Lord.

6. There isn't enough time. Priorities are a tough thing to get in order. I want to be able to do it all. And sometimes I just want to do nothing. I work a lot - and I LOVE it. I often (happily) volunteer for or create new events that take place in the evening or on the weekends. This is fun for me - maybe not so fair to Derrick. At the same time, I need time to spend with God. I want to make witnessing and sharing Him more of a priority. And I need time to focus on Derrick. One night a week is with my parents. One night a week with Derrick's mom. I want to make time for friends. I want to read and write. I need to work out. I want to be involved with a bible study. I want to make time for my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. I need to cook and clean and take care of our home. So many things compete for our time and attention - and it's important to know when to say No and when to make time for something. I'm still struggling with the saying "No."

7. I'm bad at bills and paperwork...and God help me when it's time for taxes. I like to believe I'm good with money - I'm just not good at the paperwork part of being an adult. I'm really dreading tax time. 

8. It's nice to have someone on the other pillow. Marriage is a blessing. It's having your best friend, your partner, your lover. It's laughing and getting frustrated and talking and singing and relaxing. It's a million answered prayers and a million more whispered prayers. Once God brings you to the right one, I highly recommend marriage.

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