One Mom's Answered Prayer

My mom says that when I was in elementary school, as I transitioned to Wake Christian, she prayed that God would send me some good friends. 

I guess she saw me hanging out with my imaginary friends and talking to my barbies and probably got a little worried. I've always been attracted to words and characters and quiet time, so if it hadn't been for her fervent prayers - I might still live relatively cut off from the world. 

This past Saturday, almost 20 years after my mom's whispered conversations with God, four answers to prayer were gathered around me at a Starbucks table, sipping lattes and sharing hearts, bookending the conversation with prayer, as another answer to prayer was about to have her own little one. 

God answered my mom's prayers and my heart's desires in an amazing way. With seven beautiful, Jesus-loving, kind, creative ladies - who came into my life through elementary, middle, and high school and have been there ever since.

These ladies have taught me more about life, Christ's love and purposes, love, friendship, grace, strength - and the journey to being a wife and mom - than almost anyone. Over the past few years, I've witnessed incredible strength, faith, and grace in each of their lives over different trials, circumstances, and celebrations.
 I truly can't imagine who I would be today without our hundreds (and even thousands) of conversations about Jesus, faith, love, dating, skills and talents, careers, marriage, sex, pregnancy, and motherhood. 

We may not be like the TV friends who are together every day, dropping into each other's homes unannounced and sharing morning coffee or drinks several times a week. 

Life pulls us in different directions. College took us to different states. Jobs keep us busy in different ways. And we all have other friends and close connections. 

But, with each of these ladies, I share a unique chemistry. Our conversations have different personalities. Our connection is one-of-a-kind. Our memories personal. 

And, at the same time, as a group, we are all on the same page. Our friendship can rest quietly for six-months, to ferociously come alive again with a game-night Christmas party or emergency need for prayer. Most nights several of their names are scribbled - with specific prayers or praises - in my journal. And I know that they collectively understand the whole of who I am more than anyone (except D and the fam). 

We don't judge one another. And if we accidentally do, we quickly overcome it with grace and love. We celebrate together. We understand one another's frustrations. We hurt together. Laugh together. Get lost together. Find ourselves together. 

And now...we pray for each other's children - that God might send them some amazing, understanding, Jesus-loving friends too.  

TEXTbook Marriage.

Here's a little marriage encouragement and advice, through recent Derrick and Renee text messages:

1. I hope and pray you have the privilege of being married to your best friend. Marriage is an awesome ride if you take the time to enjoy the big adventures and the every day moments.

2. One of the biggest keys to a happy, fun partnership is noticing and appreciating each other. My love language is words of affirmation, and I'm blessed with a husband who loves me so well with words. Every day. 

 

3. Marriage isn't always romantic and steamy and picture perfect.

 Sometimes it's just being frustrated and tired...together. 

 

4. Sometimes marriage means putting up with 2 a.m. text messages when your wife's away and neither of you can sleep.

5. Just have fun. Communicate. Laugh. Be silly. Be patient with your wife's overuse of emoticons. And eat fast food together in your pajamas. 

Success.

As a "Student Success Coordinator",  I'm constantly defining and redefining what success means to me. And what it means for my students. 

At the basic level, in my position, success means academic support. Making sure students don't fail classes. That they graduate. That they are prepared for a job or graduate school. And that's an important part of my mission. I don't devalue that. 

But, really, to me, that's not success. 

Success is... 

Finding and pursuing your passion. 

Knowing what makes you unique and how to use that to better the world. 

Knowing God and desiring His purpose in each day. 

Finding a friend who makes you stronger, who makes you feel safe. 

Doing your best and working hard - whatever the task may be.

Being happy with who you are. 

Respecting yourself and respecting others. 

Finding a partner in life who is your best friend & favorite person, and loving them well. 

Noticing others, encouraging others, caring about others.

Feeling content and settled, yet inspired and challenged. 

Knowing your weaknesses, accepting them, overcoming them. 

Using words to build others up. 

Appreciating your parents, laughing with your siblings, calling your grandparents. 

Learning when to say yes and when it's okay to say no. 

Having the best job in the entire world...for you. 

Genuine.

I just returned from an amazing couple of days away in Pinehurst. Such a peaceful, beautiful place. And I was very humbled to get to go there through work. 

From the moment I stepped onto the grounds, everyone I met from the resort was very kind. Genuinely kind. They offered smiles. Asked how you were - and listened to hear. And showed enthusiasm for their job - whether it was serving coffee, carrying bags, emptying trash, setting up the sound system, etc. 

As I befriended the bubbly barista (which isn't uncommon for me) and got to know the lady at the front desk with the unusual name, I was reminded how important it is to be genuine. To do your job with joy and purpose. To pause with a smile and care about someone. Both of these ladies made my day a little brighter. 

As the gentlemen in the restaurant offered to make my coffee exactly how I like it (see a theme here) and the lady served us lunch with a smile, I was humbled by their servant's heart. I didn't deserve this treatment. I had done nothing to earn it. Yet, they were happily giving it. 

Another moment caused me to pause over the weekend. While my coworkers and I were greeting guests and helping them check in, one of the businessmen said "Thanks, ladies, I appreciate you."

Hmm...I've often heard people say "I appreciate it." - But how unique and heartwarming that he was looking past what were doing for him - and was noticing who was doing it. 

So, this post isn't about Pinehurst or my great weekend. It's a reminder to live every day with joy and purpose. And take time to appreciate people.

Ministry Moments

I often feel guilty for not serving more. For not giving more. For not being more. For not doing more. I am always aware that God has given me far more than I deserve, and I have a responsibility with that which I've been given. I also am aware that I like to be lazy and comfortable and selfish. 

So my prayer is simple. 

I pray that my marriage will be a ministry to others. That I will minister to Derrick through truth, grace, and encouragement. That we will minister to others as partners and that others will see Christ in the way we love one another and do life together. 

I pray that I will speak wisdom, truth, and love to anyone God puts in my path day to day. That I will know when to listen, when to speak, and when to offer a hug. That I won't be too busy with tasks to notice and love on people. That I will be used to show God's love to someone who needs it. 

I pray that our current home and future home will not only be a peaceful haven for Derrick and me, but will also be full of life-changing conversation, side-splitting laughter, words of encouragement. A place where all feel welcome. 

That I will be blessed. Moved. Used. Daily. 

Life isn't always about waiting for the next BIG thing. 

But it is always about being faithful in the next LITTLE thing. 

Women: Failure to Fit

So many times I talk myself out of typing my heart and putting it out there - all big and bright and loud and quiet and messy - for everyone to see. But this afternoon I will put it out there. 

So many times, moments, seasons I struggle to feel like I fit. 

I think part of it is being a woman. Now, I am not one to often stand up for the plight of women. I am traditional. And I believe women can now do anything they dream. And that's where some of the conflict comes in.  

In general, men - in the church and in society - work full-time. In construction. In ministry. In the corporate world. 9 to 5 or more. Like it or not, no matter what that looks like, that's the expected path for a man. 

But women...women can work full-time. Women can stay at home with kids. Women can work part time. Women can climb the corporate ladder. Women can homeschool. Women can take years off of work to return when the kids go back to school. 

And I don't know where I fit in that. 

I work a full-time job. And I love it. It's my ministry. It's my community. It's my calling. It's my challenge and my growth. And I would go stir crazy without my job. 

But I don't know if it's my forever career. And I don't know that it's not. I don't have the utter ambition to want to take over the world and fight the glass ceiling. But I find pride in the privilege and power I have in my position. I want to grow and learn and do and make a difference - and I don't know what that looks like long-term. 

Many of my friends, the women I love, and those who surround me in my personal life, have a heart to spend time at home and be amazing moms. To work in more flexible positions and part-time jobs and focus on family. They have time for play dates, boutique shopping, Hobby Lobby trips, and talent for creative crafts that become their income. And sometimes I am jealous of them. 

But I don't know if that's my heart and skill-set either. I like kids - but I'm not ready to give myself up for them...yet. I'm not crafty. And I'd rather stay home or work late than go shopping. 

So I don't know where I fit in that. 

Sometimes I feel like I'm sacrificing time with my family and friends to focus on my career. And I struggle with that. And sometimes I feel like I'm not there enough for my students and my career, because I'm taking time for my family and friends. And I struggle with that. 

I have no idea what the next season of my life will hold. And that's hard. And sometimes it's really hard to connect with other women. The stay-at-home-moms. The corporate ladder-climbers.Those juggling both. 

So, why did I decide to share this? 

Because you might struggle to feel like you fit too.

Maybe you're passionate about your career, but you're struggling to reach the top because of sexism and disrespect. 

Maybe you're a single twenty or thirty something, feeling like there must be something wrong with you, as you attend wedding after wedding and baby shower after baby shower.

Maybe you're a stay-at-home-mom who secretly misses your job outside the home.

Maybe you're a mom who works full time and hates missing time with your kids, but you don't have a choice.

Maybe you're mourning a marriage that died too soon. 

Maybe you're staring at a positive pregnancy test, and you feel guilty that you aren't excited about it.

Maybe you're in your 40s and trying to find love again, in the midst of married friends and bad E-Harmony connections.

Maybe you're been trying to get pregnant for years, hiding the tears as all of your friends announce their pregnancies.

As hard as it is to be at peace with, God has you in this season, in this place, in this position for a purpose. Your life - today, as is - is your ministry. Your moment. Your mission. Your situation is unique - on purpose. It may be hard to accept, but it's your time to embrace. 

And maybe, as women, we should be more accepting and more open about talking about how we're feeling, how we're fitting, what we're going through. 

You're not alone. 

By the seventh day.

I love Sundays. A sleepy, slow day.

 A day that seems to crawl by - in the best of ways. A day to worship. Praise. Rest. Relax. Reflect. Prepare. A beautiful seventh day of the week. And start to another week. 

After God had spent six days creating the world, He set an example to us by resting. He didn't have to rest. He wasn't tired. His demands didn't leave Him exhausted. Instead, He rested because it was finished. It was good. And also, because He knew that humans needed a time to rest and, like with everything else, He wanted to be the example. 

One of my favorite Sunday moments is when I get to reflect on the week before, pray over the week ahead and then set goals and write down my schedule for what's to come. As someone who loves to rest in the triumphs and lessons learned of last week, and who constantly struggles with being anxious and overwhelmed, this Sabbath time is precious. 

1. First, I take a moment to look back at last week. Accomplishments. Things I didn't get done. Surprise God-things. Sweet conversations with friends. Every day blessings. 

Then I close that chapter. And turn the page to a new week. 

2. Before writing in my planner for this upcoming week, I pray over it. I talk to God about my anxieties. Pray about meetings, unexpected conversations, events and activities, time with friends and family. Pray for grace and truth, to be blessed and used. And then beside my prayer-conversation I list out what's going on that week - what may cause me anxiety - and give it to Him. 

3. Next, I list my goals and/or large tasks for the week. Then I assign them to days - writing down appointments first, followed by action items and notes. 

Then I enjoy the rest of my Sabbath, my Sunday. Last week's behind me. Tomorrow has been given to God. And, with my planner tucked away in my purse, I can praise, laugh, relax, rest - and generally not have to worry about tomorrow. 

It's Okay.

It's 9 p.m., and I'm struggling to stay awake. Curled up on the couch with a book, a fire in the fireplace, and my husband busy typing away, writing something brilliant. It's silent, except for the pitter-patter of computer keys. Peaceful, except for my quiet, constant nagging anxiety about work obligations tomorrow.

It's 9 p.m., on January 5, and I'm struggling to stay awake. This isn't allowed. It's a new year. I'm supposed to be doing brilliant things. Changing the world. Traveling. Reading and writing books that make a difference. That's the beauty of a new year. 

And I, like you, have high hopes for 2015. I seriously think it's going to be a great year. I don't make resolutions. But I do dream a little. Plan a little. Set goals and priorities. And wonder what God already sees happening in 2015. 

I know life is about more than just me. And comfort. And money. And yummy food. And laughter. Life is also about making an impact for the kingdom. Giving. Loving. Serving. And I want to make a difference.

 But really, I want to stay in my pajamas and binge watch Friends on Netflix. Really, I want to feel productive by reading the four books I have waiting. Really, I want to stay curled up in my safe bubble with my handsome husband and cozy life. 

So I have no idea why I'm blogging again. Or why you should care to read it. Maybe I'll share a recipe you like. Or maybe I'll give a little encouragement to your marriage. Maybe I'll say something that reminds you that God is amazing. Or I'll inspire you to plan and organize...

Or maybe I'll just make you feel like it's okay...

To struggle between wanting to change the world and wanting to stay in your pajamas. 

To make up your own recipes, because you never have the right ingredients for the Pinterest one.

To not be sure if you want kids but not be sure if you don't. 

To juggle being a wife and homemaker but also feeling really invested in a career. 

To push that little bit of dust into the air vent, because you're too lazy to sweep but want a clean house. 

To always feel like you're doing too much and not doing enough. 

To go back and forth between giving your life to serve and pour into others and finding peace and quiet in the stillness of Christ. 

To be freaking out on the inside about having to do your job and be an adult - all the while, knowing that God will give you enough for what He has for you. 

So, I can promise you I don't have it all together. And that's okay.

The 5K Finish Line

Last week I participated in my first official 5K. The "Running of the Camels" 5K. Of course, for me, it was more like the "Powerwalking of the Camels". 

We had a team of friends, colleagues, professors, etc. that banded together for the 8 a.m. stroll around campus. We walked. We jogged. We joked. We talked. We laughed. We may have complained a time or two. We watched as students lapped us and finished in less than half the time it took us. But we pressed on. 

It was worth it for the camaraderie. To say that I had done a 5k. To be a part of a tradition. To get a free t-shirt. But there is one moment that really left an impression in my mind and heart...

We reached Campbell's track, and I thought that was it. I could see the finished line. 

And then someone announced that we just had to go around the track once. Seriously. Oy. So Dr. Williams and I preceded to jog and pant our way around the track. 

Then I got one last burst of motivation. The finish line was in sight. And I literally got chills as a group of people I knew and some I didn't know stood around the last leg and the finish line and cheered me on. Cheered me home. Cheered me to the land of rest and water and fresh fruit. It was finished. Mission accomplished. 

As I crossed the finished line, people cheering and a feeling of accomplishment settling in my blissfully exhausted bones, I thought of heaven. And I thought of one of my favorite passages of scripture. 

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame,and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." 

Hebrews 12:1-3

Sometimes life is hard. There are hills and bumps. Sometimes we go it alone and many times we're blessed to have people to talk to, laugh with, catch our breath with. Sometimes your endorphines kick in and life is good, sweet, rich, even easy. And sometimes you feel like you don't have the strength to make it the last stretch. 

But then there are people cheering for you. People who love you. People who have struggled and triumphed with you. People who have gone before you. 

And Jesus is there.

 You lock eyes with Him, and no weight or heaviness or sweat or breathlessness can slow you down. He's cheering you on. You have a purpose. You have a mission. You can get rid of the burden and run with joy.

What a beautiful image. Jesus is cheering for you. He's been there. He's successfully completed the race. He can relate. And now He's cheering you on. Don't give up! 

Making a Menu

I'm sure most of you know by now that I love organization, planning, to do lists, etc. It's a problem. But it's also a solution. I like to know exactly where I'm going to be four Wednesdays from now, and what I'll be eating. Again. It's a problem.

With that being said, every since I've been married, I've kept a blackboard weekly menu. Normally, on Friday or Saturday night, I'll think through the menu for the next week - googling ideas, looking at my pinterest boards, sifting through cabinets and the fridge - and write it down.

This is such a big help - it saves time, money, thought, calories. It helps me think through each meal - instead of just rushing through it. It helps me make sure I don't cook chicken three nights in a row or have potatoes as a side item all week. It allows me to choose a healthier lunch if I know I'm going to be eating a high calorie dinner - and vice versa. 

Most months I try to actually plan out my meals for the whole month. It may seem crazy - but all you have to do is open up/print out/write down your calendar for the month and then think through meals you've been wanting to try. Be creative. Make Wednesday night taco night if you want. Make Friday night pasta night. You can make Sunday fish day. Whatever is easiest for you. 

Seriously. Planning your meals for the month will help as you jot down those grocery lists. When you don't feel like coming up with something to cook that day. It will give you a chance to try new recipes instead of falling back on your go to meal every week. 

And I never actually follow my planned monthly meals 100%. Probably not even 80% of the time. Things come up all the time. And sometimes I'm just not in the mood for what's on the calendar that date. But having a map of meal ideas - a go to list of options - helps me plan and prepare well-rounded, not-last-minute, not-resorting-to-fast-food-fallbacks meals. 

So when September rolls around pull up pinterest, get out your pen and plan! 

Managing Success...Successful Managing

At almost 26 years old, I am thankful for the responsibility and success God has afforded me in my career and personal life. 10% of the time, I feel like I have it all together. 90% of the time, I feel like I don't quite know what I'm doing and have that nagging feeling that I'm missing something big. Whispered prayers, an honest smile and a positive spirit can overcome the learning curve and many mistakes! 

One blessing and curse that God weaved into my fabric is a Type-A desire to be organized and scheduled. And thank God He put people in my life who would put up with my vacation itineraries, multiple calendars, menus, and extensive budgets.

With all that said, I do have a little Type-A advice for how to better manage your time and make the most out of your life - whether you are an I-even-put-showering-on-my-to-list control freak like me or someone who has never kept a schedule in their lives... Hopefully these points will encourage you. 

Know your priorities 

 Know what your life priorities are (God, family, friendships, your church, missions work, growing in a career, etc.) and then also know what your priorities in a certain season of life are (a specific project, a sick relative, starting a family, planning a wedding, working towards a promotion, getting used to a new job, etc.). Write these down. Have them ever-present in your mind. Discuss them with your spouse or a close friend or relative. And then focus on your priorities. This will help you make a decision when two events happen on the same night or two people need your attention. This will help you focus on what you want your life to be about. 

Know how you spend your time

What did you do today? Do you feel like you made a difference? Did you use your time wisely? We are all given 24 hours a day, 168 hours a week - and God has given us a specific time on earth. Don't waste it. A good exercise is to keep a record of all the big things you did in a day. Things that matter to you. Things that mattered. This will show you where your priorities are, where they should be and help you reevaluate how you spend your time. 

Set goals 

Daily goals. Weekly goals. Seasonal goals. And life goals. Goals are how you live out your priorities. How you control your time, instead of your time controlling you. Honestly pray about what God has for you in this area. Make your goals attainable. Substantial. Know what your seasonal goals are, how they work towards your life goals, and then use your weekly and daily goals to make those happen. You can set a handful of broad goals or have a more specific task-by-task to do list. 

Remember what matters

This is hard for me. I am a Martha through and through. Sometimes I have to make myself (using every clinched tooth I have) be more like Mary. If there are dirty dishes but Derrick wants to show me something, I have to remember what matters, take a deep breath and do the dishes later (or do them really quickly and then give him my full attention ;)...okay, not my point). If I have a deadline at work and a student walks in, that student deserves my full attention. They matter. 

Know your strengths and weaknesses

God made us all different, unique, strong and weak. I'm good at being organized and love making calendars and lists. I'm not so good when things change. I'm good when I get in the groove, owning a project, my music playing in the background. I struggle in group tasks and team projects. I'm good at connecting with people, but sometimes I let my nagging to do list keep me from really peeling back those layers. I like writing, cooking, cleaning, walking and studying the Bible. I'm not crafty, I can't paint, I don't run or play sports, and I get bored trying to how to do something new. 

Know your strengths and weaknesses. And be okay with who you are and how God made you. But never stop growing. 

I hope you'll get out a notebook and a pen this weekend and think through how you can better manage success (success in your life, with the skills and responsibilities God has given you - not the world's definition of success) and be a successful manager of the time and resources you have. 

And if you made it this far - and are still reading - thank you. Thank you. Thank you! I never feel worthy for people to actually read the whole thing! 

Just Move

About a month ago, I made a resolution to move. Move a little. Move a lot. Just move.

I would love to say that I walk 4 miles a day. Heck, I'd really love to say that I was one of those people who woke up every morning at 5 a.m. and ran 10 miles with a sports bra, matching sneakers and a smile. But that's not me.

I resolved to try to move a little 5-6 days a week. Sometimes that looks like a 1-2 mile walk around campus. Sometimes it's pushing myself to do 5 miles on a Saturday afternoon. Sometimes it's walking around downtown on vacation with my husband or playing frisbee for 30 minutes in the backyard. Sometimes it's a 20 minute yoga or pilates video at home. Most of the time it's somewhere in between all that.

It's not about how you move - or even how long you move (although I would advise you to aim for 20 minutes or more 3-5 days a week).

- Join a yoga or pilates class.

- Find a nature trail near your home.

- Walk around the neighborhood with friends.

- Play a game of basketball with your kids.

- Go on an evening bike ride with your husband.

- Go hiking with your family on the weekends.

- Wake up early and do a prayer walk.

- Find your favorite treadmill or elliptical at the local gym.

- Find workout videos on youtube for free and work out at home (Leslie Sansone is great for beginner walkers and Tara Stiles for beginners in yoga).

This week, I encourage you to make a motion to move.

It's alive!

This is not at all what I was planning to write about today but...

In the quiet moments of life, I have a habit of overthinking...and on the way home today I overthought a thought that made me really excited. The kind of excited you get when you have a brilliant idea when you're lying in bed at midnight, that may not seem quite as exciting or brilliant when you wake up the next morning. 

Just go with me here. I hope you think it's exciting too. 

Think of a TV show, movie, song or book that causes you to get lost in its story. It takes you away. It gets you excited, emotional. Maybe it's an epic love story, a sappy drama, a historical fiction, a dramatic battle, an underdog story...but, when the movie, song or book is finished - you feel inspired. 

And then...nothing happens. 

It's not your love story. It's not a war you're fighting. It doesn't involve you really in any way at all. It's not happening to you. Sure, the story decided to share itself with you - but it didn't invite you to be a part of it. 

How cool is it that the Bible - and worship songs that put the Word into emotion - is different. It's an EPIC tale of war and romance, struggle and temptation, sin and forgiveness, redemption and love. It's a page turner. An emotional inspiration. And songs about it can bring joy to your heart and tears to your eyes in pure worship.

And you're invited to join the story.

It's real. It is your love story with God. It is a war that you're a part of. It involves you. It's happening to you. The "happily ever after" is an open invitation to anyone who wants to submit to God's love and the epic love story if for those who are a part of the Bride of Christ. 

The Bible is alive. The stories, the truths, the people within it's pages are real and relevant to you. The climax and the finale are all an integral part of your story. 

And that, my friends, is pretty cool. 

She's back!

I have missed you, dear friends. And missed sharing my heart with you. I could say that life has been too busy the past six months and, while it has been busy, I guess I just haven't made writing a priority. I am happy to be back, with no promises of blogging often. I'm going to do what I can.

I believe that everything should have a purpose, and I want to be purposeful to use this blog to encourage women as women, wives and daughters of the King.

In an effort to hold myself accountable, I've created four categories/labels/topics for my posts. And, if things don't fit one of these four categories, I'll try to not waste your time with it. I want to speak truth and encouragement into your life and make this blog about me and you. 

HomeMade - Thoughts and tips regarding how to run your home with organization, wisdom, yummy food and happy times.

His Word - I believe God uses my strong love for studying His Word to help grow my spiritual gifts of knowledge and wisdom - although most days I don't feel very wise or knowledgable. I can't wait to share my journey with you.

Personally - Encouragement from me personally - as a woman, wife and friend - to you personally - as a woman, wife and friend. Including struggles, stress, hobbies, exercise, and anything else that I can share from my personal journey to encourage yours.

His, Hers and Ours - Marriage! One of God's biggest blessings and something I love to write about.

Can't wait to grasp your hand and begin this journey together...again.

March Madness

No, not that March Madness. 

 Basketball is not what has inspired me to blog again.

I'm pumped about March, because it's going to hold some pretty epic things. 

 

First bonus, fresh off the heels of two big events, is that there are no events at work in March, but lots of groups and one-on-one visits - which I love!

Derrick and I are heading to South Carolina to visit our wonderful friends Allen and Sara. They're the kind of friends that we can go on adventures and explore new places with or just stay in our pajamas and play board games. I think God gave Sara the gift of hosting. Their home is always warm and cozy, candles burning and fresh fruit or chocolate chip cookies waiting to be eaten. We're pretty excited to see their new house and explore Asheville, NC with them! 

 Any day this month (they're aiming for the 19th) I could become an "aunt"! My best pal since 4th grade is having her first baby and will bravely be the first in our tight knit group to become a mom. I don't think I've wrapped my mind around how this is or isn't going to change everything, but I do know that Whitney and Aaron are going to be great parents. I'm definitely not ready to have my own child, but I'm really excited to meet and love on Graeme! 

Oh yeah, my husband turns 26 this month. Which is crazy. I'm so excited to celebrate him and the fact that on March 25, 1988, God decided to bless the world and change my life forever (I wasn't born yet, but you know what I mean).

And, to end the much-anticipated month, on March 31, NeedtoBreathe will be in the Creek, and Derrick and I are going with some dear friends from Hope. The cool thing is that we met those same friends for the first time at a NeedtoBreathe concert at the DPAC in April last year. Happy friendship anniversary, Gores!

(And speaking of anniversarys - Happy one year anniversary to John and Jessica Sierra.
I can't believe it's been a year since your fairy tale wedding!)

Praying through Proverbs 31

Prayer has always been a struggle for me. It's natural for me to talk to God throughout the day - in short "thank yous" or "be with me nows". But it's hard for me to have a focused, disciplined, meaningful prayer. 

Keeping a devotion and prayer journal has helped a lot. I'm a writer by nature - so having somewhere to record my prayers is good for me. Plus, I love going back and seeing answered prayers or growth in my relationship with God. 

I still don't often pray like I should. Two weeks ago, as I finished the book of Proverbs, I lingered in one of my favorite chapters in the bible - Proverbs 31. A chapter that I've read and studied and tried to emulate for years. 

This time, as I made a list of characteristics of the Wife of Noble Character, I decided to dedicate some time to praying through Proverbs 31. 

It was awesome. A relationship-changer; both with me and God and me and Derrick. 

I've included how I divided it by days below, adding a little detail on how I turned the verse into a prayer. I would encourage any woman reading this to take 9 days and give it a try. 

V. 11-12 

I prayed that I would be a wife that Derrick would have full confidence in, trust completely. That I would always bring him good and never harm. That I would be protected from temptation and use my words and actions to always support Derrick. 

V. 13-15

I prayed for the strength, energy and wisdom to work hard in all I do. And I prayed that I would use my skills and talents to provide for my home, my husband and those that God has given me to love on. 

V. 16-18

I prayed for wisdom in earning and spending money. For guidance in being a good steward. That I may use my career, my skills, my passions to provide financially. And I prayed for dedication to take care of myself - physically and otherwise - so that I might be prepared for the task at hand.

V. 20

I prayed that I would see those in need and have the heart to love them, reach out to them and give up my resources to care for them. That Derrick and I would have a heart for ministry together. And that God would open my eyes to ministries I can help.

V. 21-22

I prayed that I would always be prepared, and have a home and family so well-taken care of that we're ready for whatever may come our way. I also prayed that I would always dress appropriately and take care of my appearance as a representation of Derrick and our family. 

V. 23

I prayed for Derrick's job, his passions, his videos, his heart, his mind. For him to be able to find success and satisfaction in his work - and use his skills and talents to impact people for the Kingdom. 

V. 24-25

I prayed earnestly that God would grant me the grace, wisdom and skill set to provide for my family. That I would have such a heart for Christ and wisdom in providing and preparing - that the Green family could stand up against adversity and have joy in whatever comes our way. 

V. 26-27

I prayed that I would be someone others can trust. That I will have wise insight and speak caring and uplifting words to all around me, especially those in need of encouragement. I prayed that friends and family would find refuge in me and my home.

V. 29-31

 I prayed for my possible future children - and for preparation, strength, wisdom and joy as a mom. I prayed that I will take care of myself physically but focus on my relationships with God. That God will intervene in my life in a big way and use me as a wife and woman for Him. I prayed that I won't be full of myself but that I will be the kind of person that other's trust and admire. 


She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.

The Series of our Friendship

A few weeks ago, while waiting on my husband to come to bed, I went on a long rabbit trail. And ended up looking at ALL my Facebook photos. It was a lot of fun, actually – and it took me back to some really good times.

I realized that these five years of pictures and many, many happy memories and wonderful moments– of graduations, weddings, bridal showers, game nights, dinners out, Christmas parties, double dates, etc. – represents the third book in my friendship with these amazing ladies. And how rare and blessed that is.

  I was looking at all the photos, and reliving all the memories…then it occurred to be that this was just a tiny piece of our story together.

A lot of friendships are a book with many chapters. You are childhood friends or high school friends, or maybe you meet in college and go on crazy adventures together, or you may meet at work or church or through a friend of a friend after you become an adult and get settled in life or you might meet in a mom’s group once the little ones are around. And then the story of your friendship happens – set in a specific time and place, a book with many chapters.

But with Whitney, Bethany, Cari, Carrie, Jessica, Jessi, and Ashley – our story is a series. See, for many of us, we became friends in elementary school or middle school, all of us forming a tight bond by high school. We had sleepovers, celebrated 13th &16th & 18th birthday parties, participated in the senior play, went on class trips, got pumped up for homecoming, hung out together at the Junior/Senior, had silly adventures and the best of inside jokes. I’ve got scrapbooks and boxes of memories from that amazing journey. Our first book – a long one – ended with a tearful graduation but excited anticipation. 

Then college came, and our second book started. We were spread from Arkansas to Ohio and many places in between. But we still found time to get together on fall breaks, Christmas break, summer break – catching each other up on majors, new guys, new friends, strange adventures, big mistakes, studying abroad, missing home, break ups and makeups,  etc.  We found time for summer ice cream, winter road trips, coffee breaks, double dates, New Year’s eve celebrations. That book probably ended around the time some of us stopped dating the wrong guy and quickly met the right one…near our college graduation dates.

Then Bethany got engaged. We threw our first lingerie shower and took pictures at our first wedding. And the third book in our series began. A time of finishing (multiple, in some cases) degrees, graduating from college and settling into careers.  Job searching and wondering where God was leading us. Coming home or finding new homes. First apartments and first houses. Falling in love with the right guys, engagements, bachelorette parties and weddings. Christmas parties, coffee dates and game nights, pinterest pinning, and settling into adulthood.

And last night we celebrated the prologue to our next book. I have a feeling that the first chapter will be titled “Graeme”. And it’s going to be a definite page turner.

God has been so good. Stay tuned!

Happy by my side ♥

I was just looking through my old blogs from years past - and I realize I wrote about marriage a lot. Reading my words, my thoughts, my moments brought back such precious memories! And I figured a post with unsolicited advice and thoughts about marriage is long overdue.

After two and a half years of marriage, Derrick and I are in a really good place. Like with any relationships, there are days that you exist together, go through your routine and love each other. And then there are days that you laugh and talk and dance and touch and connect and LOVE each other. Derrick and I have been having a lot of talking and giggling and dancing days lately but, like everyone else, we have our normal days. And there's a beauty in those too.

Here's the advice you've all been waiting for (*sarcasm*) in regards to making your marriage an abundant one.  

Marry your best friends or be best friends with the one you marry
It makes life so much easier when you marry your best friend. The person you naturally have fun with and can have fun with doing anything or nothing. If you are married and aren't best friends, make an effort to get to know and enjoy each other that way. 

Find joy in the little things
Most of life is the little, every day things. Most of life is TV and grilled cheese. Most of life is laundry and dishes, double dates and family night. Make sure you can find the joy in doing a snow dance, watching your new netflix show, waking up next to each other, fast food after church, notes packed in his lunch...

 Talk

Honestly there are a lot of days where Derrick and I just talk on the surface - about work or plans for the week or what's for dinner. But there are some things we consistently talk to each other about; we always talk about additions to the calendar before we confirm, big purchases before we buy, big decisions before we make them... And sometimes, when I'm not expecting it, we find ourselves in deep conversations about God or marriage or friendships or kids or careers or church.

Touch
Yes, sex is super important in a marriage - but just touching is important. Hugs after work. Kisses before bed. Cuddling while you watch TV. High fives when you're excited. A good massage after a hard day. Holding hands while you're shopping...

Have hobbies 
Together and separately. I read and watch The Bachelor - those are my things. Derrick plays video games and does video. But we have shows we watch together and games we play together. Board games are our new hobby - and something we can do together and with other friends and family. It's good to have your own personal hobbies. And it's good to have a hobby or two that you share with your spouse. 

Surround yourself with Christian couples 
We are blessed in this area, and I never take that for granted. Other happily-married Christian couples inspire us, support us, make us laugh, encourage us in Christ, understand us, speak truth to us, set an example for us and would be there for us if we ever had a struggle...plus, they're fun! If you don't have good Christian couples - both as friends and mentors - I'd love to help you out! 

Build each other up and appreciate each other 
Compliment each other - privately and publicly. Appreciate each other - using all of the love languages. When your spouse does something kind and loving, take time to notice it. Tell them when they look good. When they have a good idea. When they blow your mind with their insight or creativity or talent or kisses.
Maybe you feel stuck, you feel like your spouse isn't loving you well - take time to notice the small ways that they are loving you and appreciate that. Eventually, they'll probably notice and grow in how they show you love. 

Be silly together
Sing together. Dance together. Make up words together. Speak in British accents. Tickle each other. Play MarioKart. Skip. Be silly and young and crazy together. 

Don't expect too much
Whaaaaat? Yeah. I said it. Don't expect rose petals on the bed. Don't expect handwritten sonnets. Don't expect a dozen roses on every holiday. Don't expect to be whisked
 away on a weekend trip to Paris.
Sometimes we have these fantasies in our minds - thanks to TV and romance novels and years of daydreaming - of grandeur. When we allow ourselves to expect something, without ever verbalizing it, then we set up our partner for failure and ourselves up for disappointment.
Yes, expect to be treated well. Expect sweet nothings. Expect respect and friendship and passion. But be realistic. And appreciate what's right in front of you.

"And above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins." 
1 Peter 4:8

Boast about my weaknesses.

I am going to be completely vulnerable and honest with you tonight. And I debated whether or not to share this post. But it was on my heart and maybe it will resonate with someone. 

 Tonight, in the middle of worship, I had a moment. A moment when I thought about all the heaviness and burden and sin and Satan that God helps me overcome. Not once but daily. Not as a memory but as a reality

I guess we each have stuff. We have obvious stuff. We have hidden stuff. We have human stuff. We have spiritual stuff. We have physical stuff. Stuff everyone knows about. Stuff no one knows about. Even as you read this, you probably can think of your own stuff.

Paul had stuff. He called it his "thorn in the flesh". And it was real to him. It reminded him of why He needed a Savior for today and for eternity. It made life in Christ a refreshing blessing. And it made the promise of heaven even more beautiful. 

Well, I have stuff too.

I have a physical and mental thorn.

Over a year ago, on October 2, 2012, I woke up in the middle of the night unable to get a full breath. I was terrified; my sweet mom got a 2 a.m. call and quickly came over to calm me down. My amazing husband stayed up all night with me - watching Matilda and The Walking Dead. I felt like I would never feel okay again. 

The doctors found nothing wrong. For the few months, it was like I was constantly wearing a corset. I felt stuck. Suffocating. You know that scene in Titanic where Rose is about to jump? That's how it felt. Derrick and I actually slept on the couch with the TV on for weeks - because I couldn't sleep in the darkness of our bedroom.It was hard for me to ride in a car for a long period of time or be out of my comfort zone. Being in crowds or being obligated to be at a function was suffocating. I wanted Derrick near me constantly. It was a crippling, veiled form of anxiety - and it was very real to me.

Now, I thank God for every full breath I can take. Every good nights sleep in our cozy bed. I am thankful that I can travel without feeling like I need to be home. That I can take road trips without feeling imprisoned. That I can be surrounded by wonderful people, having fun. And that Derrick is my best friend but not my crutch. Sometimes I can feel myself getting panicky again - but, by God's grace, I overcome.

I have other stuff. I have a spiritual thorn. 

Since I was fourteen, I've gone through seasons of doubt. I doubt God. I question God. But not on your typical stuff. I don't wonder why so and so is sick or why this person was in an accident...

I question big God stuff. Stuff far beyond the realm of human understanding. Like, why did OT believers have to go through so many sacrifices and follow so many rules? Why did God have to send His Son to save us if He knew we were going to sin from the beginning? And we all have a sin nature by birth so is it really our fault we sin? Why did God create people any way? He knew some people would go to hell. What if I don't really believe enough? What if I'm not doing enough?

I go through times where these questions weigh me down. Burden me. Cause me to feel depressed. I struggle with the feeling that I have to make sense of God. That I have to understand Him, and that if I don't, I must not really know Him. These seasons, these moments, are my darkest days. And it's not something I can make sense of or logically wrap my mind around. 

I have to trust. I have to understand that if I understood God, He wouldn't be God and I wouldn't need Him. I love the moments when God overcomes me. When He removes me from myself and overwhelms me with His graciousness. And I have to submit my thorns to Him daily. In each moment.

Those are just two examples of my stuff. Other stuff - the sin stuff, my flesh vs. my spirit - is a daily struggle for me just like it is for you. 

See, I can say that God's grace is sufficient for me. But it doesn't become real until I am weak. 

"...Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 

2 Corinthians 12:7-10