What I like about us!

Over the years I have read many books on love, marriage, and family. These are my favorite kinds of books  - and, although many say the same thing, they provide support and encouragement, and I believe they've helped prepare me to be Derrick's wife. Currently, I am reading Love & Respect...but, as I write this, my mind drifts to another book I read a few years back. I don't remember the name, but there is something important that I picked up from the book...

In my relationship, I can't let  little negative things become bigger than the truer positive things.  Too many men and women focus on the negative - and they don't look at the amazing, positive things that their person does to love them. Maybe your husband rubs your shoulders, but you're too busy thinking about how he forgot to call to appreciate him. Your wife cooks your favorite meal, but you're too busy focusing on the messy house to care. Don't let the negative become bigger than the positive and take time to appreciate the wonderful things. (Sidenote: if there is a problem that needs to be dealt with, then talk it out and take measures necessary to work through it.).

Derrick is my favorite and, I have written a list of some of my favorite things about our relationship. These are the things that make it easy to focus on the positive:

1. We're best friends. He is my best friend, and I enjoy doing everything with him. We enjoy talking with each other, going on adventures, and making memories. We are real together and crazy together. Transparent together. We know each other best. We are best friends in an adult-way - we're there for each other and support each other. And we're best friends in a little kid kind of way - we share popsicles and look forward to having pajama parties together.  One of my absolute favorite things? When Derrick looks at me and says, "You're my best friend."

2. We're partners. It is natural for us to be partners in everything. Before I buy almost anything I talk to him about it. Before he makes a purchase or makes a business move, he discusses it with me. We talk about his video business and brainstorm together. We plan our weeks together and talk it out before we make any plans. And it is not because we feel pressured to ask permission or get approval. We have always, since before we began dating, desired to talk to each other about everything. I respect his opinion. He values mine. 

3. We take time to dance. We dance in the kitchen, in the living room, when I walk him out. This is so important - because it means that, for those few seconds, we make the world disappear. We hold one another and focus on each other. He twirls me and dips me and tosses me in the air - and we laugh and flirt. I pull him close in a hug and we talk about our day. But, in that moment, supper and the dirty floor and the computer and the television evaporate. It's just us.

4. We annoy each other. We do. Sometimes, like everyone, we annoy and frustrate each other...but we both have these looks that we give each other. Looks that say, "Really? Do you have to do that?". And sometimes we'll even say "argh, that's annoying. I can't deal with it." Normally, out of stubbornness, the annoy-er will do the annoying thing once or twice more. Then we'll smirk at each other, grunt in frustration, and it'll all be over. I like that.

5. We understand the jargon. We both have degrees in Communication and took practically the exact same classes. We have different tastes and passions - and our minds and creative eyes are definitely not identical. But I understand when he talks about video, and I know enough to discuss it with him. He understands target audiences and marketing to a specific group - which is a passion of mine. We share a passion for photography, although we have different styles. We both enjoy writing - although our words and our stories are hardly similar. I like that we are different in the way we artistically see the world, but that we still understand and share a similar passion.

6. We're silly together. With Derrick, I can act like a 4-year old. I can be completely ridiculous. I can speak in a British accent. I can make up words or songs or dances. We can let our guard down and be stupid together. I don't do that with anyone else. Most of the time, I try to be reserved and graceful and mature. With him, I can be silly. And being silly is such a fun thing to be :) I think it would benefit all couples to be silly together.

7. We step up for each other. We are both fairly positive people, but we have our down moments. When I'm in a bad mood, when I am being negative, or when I feel like crying - Derrick steps it up and is the positive comforter. He reminds me of the blessings we have. He holds my hand when tears fall down my cheeks. And, when he's feeling down about something, it's natural for me to forget whatever might be wrong with me and be a positive encourager and cheerleader. Sometimes I just rub his back and sit with him. Sometimes I encourage him with words. Sometimes we pray together.

8. We compliment each other. We complement each other, but we also compliment each other. He tells me I'm beautiful. He's proud of me. Some days the compliments are specific, sometimes it's just "you're awesome" or "you're beautiful". Words of affirmation are important to me - so loving that way comes natural to me and I constantly try to shower Derrick with affirmation, but I am so thankful that he takes the time to appreciate me as well.

9. We serve together. We do video at church together. We've worked many weddings together. I have been an extra or an assistant on many videos that Derrick has worked on. We do photos together. We're partners, we're best friends - and this translates into serving side-by-side.

10. We love music. This may not be a top 10 for anyone else, but it's important to me. I love music. Listening, discussing, feeling the music. All kinds of music. And Derrick shares that passion with me. The sounds of Celine Dion, Lil John, and Garth Brooks filled the car on our 9-hour roadtrip to Ohio. We watch the country music awards together and discuss the meaning behind Eagles songs. We watch Meatloaf music videos and have been to see Keith Urban, Sugarland, Little Big Town, Skillet, Toby Keith, Trace Adkins, James Otto, and OneRepublic. It's a wonderful, crazy collaboration.

 

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. 

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12