Book Review

Just finished reading Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggrichs. This book lays out the biblical command for husbands to love their wives (and gives pointers on how women need love) and for wives to respect their husbands (and shows wives how men desperately need respect to be shown). Going through three different possible cycles in this process, Eggrichs breaks down the core of these desires, the differences between men and women in this area, and principles to move forward loving and/or respecting. 

It was written based on an amazing principle, but I was disappointed. Maybe I just had high expectations because of all the hype...but I expected something more. Don't get me wrong - it has some great principles. Anyone who is struggling in their relationship should definitely pick up a copy and make time to read it. It is definitely biblical based. I didn't disagree with any of the points presented. For some people, the love and respect concept is new - and I think it's an important one to grasp.

But I felt like 60% of the book was redundant. I would have enjoyed the book more if it had just been chapters 16-21 (which focus on respecting a man's desire for conquest, hierarchy,authority, insight, relationship,and sexuality). I did appreciate his point that the marriage relationship is just as much about your relationship with God as it is about your spouse - and I pray I can remember that.

I prefer, and would suggest to anyone in a serious relationship, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes. This book focuses on seven qualities that men long for in a wife. The woman of your man's dreams: prays for him, respects him, adores him, is his friend, safegaurds her marriage and home, encourages him, and sexually fulfills him.  Sharon gives quotes and opinions of real men, and she also includes ideas of ways to show adoration, encouragement, things to build you husband up, things never to say to your husband, etc.

I thought that Jaynes covered everything that Eggrichs did - but she didn't tarry too long on one topic. She gets to the point, provides plenty of detail and support, and gives some great advice and ideas. She gives real world examples (Eggrich does too) and also gives ideas of how we can follow through (I did appreciate the points at the end of the Love and Respect chapters as well). I found Jaynes to be an easier read - and the fact that she's a woman writing to women may be helpful in relating to her.

So which one should you read? Both. I believe you can never be too good of a girlfriend, fiancee, wife, or woman. Both of these books have some great points, and even if it only helps in one or two ways - it's still going to help you become a better person, a better husband, a better (future?) wife. So grab a highlighter and curl up with a good book.