Wedding dreams

I haven't written in a while - so I thought I would pen a few thoughts.

I used to have back-to-school dreams, beginning around August 1st every year. Dreams that I was late for the first day of classes. That I was unprepared. That I missed my first class. And this never actually happened. I liked school. When I was awake I very much looked forward to the first day of school. And maybe I was always so prepared because I didn't want my dreams to come true.

Two nights ago I started having wedding dreams. Two in a row now. In the first one, I woke up and it was October 1 already. I didn't remember anything that happened over the past 6 months...but it was my wedding day. I hadn't packed for my honeymoon. I had no idea if any of the wedding plans were taken care of - because I couldn't remember doing any of it. Panic and confusion set in.
In last night's dream, we had gotten married and we were sitting around the living room with our families. My uncle was there. And they were giving us presents...and I realized that it was about to be my wedding night. And that scared me. In reality, I'm nervous and very excited...not scared. And, in my dream, I was very very sad that I wasn't going to live with my parents anymore. In reality, I am a little sad, but more excited that I get to build a home and a life with my husband, my best friend.

Wedding dreams and wedding nightmares - it seems to be the things that girls are made of. I feel like we have a great deal of planning done. But new things pop up all the time. I need to have a bridal portrait - which means I need flowers, a hairstyle, things for my hair, a photographer...We need to send out save-the-date cards, which means we need to get our engagement pictures taken, edited, organized, we need a finalized guest list and addresses, we need to find a save-the-date company, etc. Rehearsal dinner? What are the guys going to wear? What are the girls going to wear? When are we going to have time to plan all this? Where are we going to live? How about bills? Changing my name? Insurance? And these details keep popping up left and right. Planning a wedding takes a lot of work. I'm far more excited about the marriage.

Admist the planning and the details there are many things that make me excited and make it worth it. In six months, I get to be Derrick's wife. I finally have that man I always prayed about. And, along the way, we get to find a home together. We get to celebrate with family and friends. We get free stuff. We get to decorate that home. I get to spend a weekend at the beach with my very favorite girls. We get to be caught up in the anticipation with those closest to us. Then we get to have a party in celebration. I get to wear a beautiful dress and have a first dance with my husband. We get to go on a road trip. We get to go on an amazing vacation together for a week. We get to finally sleep together - and not have to say good-bye. We get to have a home together. I get to cook supper in my own kitchen. And we get to begin our life as Mr. and Mrs. Green.

...that is how I can have the patience and positivity to pick out flowers and plan wedding details...and, at the end of the day, that is why the flowers and details don't seem so important.