Of Mice and Men

Our home is surrounded by fields. 

This means mice. In my house. Invading my security.

I hate mice. And I let them have too much control. If I hear one in the kitchen, then I sit paralyzed in the living room. If I'm unsure where they are but I know they're there then I will go outside. Yes, I let mice run me out of my own home. And recently I haven't slept well, because I wake up in the middle of the night and feel like they're in bed with us. It's a real problem.

Logically, I get it. They're little. They're hungry. They're scared of me. But that doesn't stop me from being terrified. And from letting them invade my haven. My safe place. My home.

Now, I am a clean person. I am obsessive about making sure our home is clean. But having mice has made me take it to a whole other level. I have bought plastic containers for all of our pantry-food. And I am so looking forward to completely cleaning out my pantry this weekend. Rubbing it down. Reorganizing. Cleaning any evidence of mice and trying my best to secure that the problem won't happen again...I'm a little too excited about this cleaning and reorganizing. I'm very Monica about it all (Friends). Very Martha about it all (the Bible). 

If the cleaning and organizing and dozen traps set in my kitchen don't get rid of the mice...my husband says we'll call an exterminator. 

As I sat down to write my blog about my fear of mice and my excitement to clean, I was reminded of God and life and sin. 

How many times do we let sin control our lives? Make us feel unsafe in our own home? Dictate our decisions and leave us paralyzed.? Sure. It starts out small. It climbs its way in through a little hole - one we didn't even notice. It stays hidden for a while - and you don't even realize when it begins to disrupt your life. Next thing you know you are in a ball on the couch, wanting it to go away but unsure of how to get rid of it...and unsure of how you got to this point. 

Maybe its time to clean out the pantry of your heart and mind (yes, i know it sounds stupid - but you get my point). Get rid of the sin. The temptation. The things that may cause you to stumble. The bonds that have you paralyzed. The chains that are keeping you from freedom. The addictions, abuses, memories, temptations, scars that are keeping you from feeling secure in your own home.

Getting rid of the filth and temptation and stumbling blocks - and guarding your heart - is important. But  it isn't enough. Sometimes the sins keep finding holes, weakness, crumbs of insecurity. We can try our best to safeguard our hearts and minds, but when it comes down to it - we need to start and end with a really good exterminator. And God is the only One Who is up for the job.

 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” 

For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone;  

but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by 

their own evil desire and enticed.  Then, after desire has conceived, 

it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

 James 1:13-15

 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, 

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—

if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 

Philippians 4:8

Love Deeply.

I was really struggling yesterday with a few key questions: What am I doing to make a difference in the lives of others? How am I making an impact for Christ? Am I just wasting my time, my opportunities, my talents? What more can I do today, right now?

...and so I decided to share a passage of scripture with you that God shared with me. Hopefully it will inspire you. Don't you love when you look at a verse or passage that you've probably seen at least a dozen times before but this time it means more?

 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.  Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.  Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 4:7-11

There are so many great morsels of truth tucked away in this passage, but I will focus on those words and principles that touched me today, in hopes that they may touch you too.

"Above all, love each other deeply."  Love deeply. Love passionately. Love completely. Do love. Feel love. Act in love. Show love. How often do we - do I - forget to show love to others in everything that I do. And to love those around me deeply and completely. 

"Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling."  The first part of this command is great...but the second part is humbling, and I think it probably speaks to many of us. How often do I volunteer for something or to help someone and yet complain and grumble and have a negative spirit while anticipating actually "offering hospitality". Even though my spiritual gift is exhortation, I am selfish. I like using my time for me when I get the chance...and too often find myself - if only in my mind - having a poor spirit about being kind, welcoming, and helpful to others. 

"Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others..." This is something I try to do everyday but never do enough. We each have different gifts, talents, skills that God has given us. Everyone is different - and its awesome how He made us all unique. And we each have gifts that we've been given that we can use every day to touch others, serve others, encourage others. Never focus on what you're not good at, but take a good look at what you are good at, what you enjoy doing, the talents you have - and then use those traits to serve others and to worship God.

"If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ."  I think this one builds on everything above. If I'm serving with God's strength and to His glory then I shouldn't have a negative spirit, but a spirit of love. If I'm looking for ways daily to use my gifts for God's glory then I can have faith that He will give me strength so that His will and His praise will be accomplished. 

I hope this has encouraged you today. 

To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever.

My Blog - a Book!

For two years I've been writing my next book, and I didn't even know it. I've been sharing my heart, sharing my stories, and trying to use my gifts and God's words to encourage others.

It didn't even occur to me until my mother-in-law suggested it. "Why don't you print your blogs?" At first it seemed like an only-okay idea. I mean, why would you want a book of my blogs when you can read them online? 

But it evolved into an amazing project. Something I'm proud of. Something I'm passionate about. Something that shows how God has used me and created me with certain skills for a purpose...no matter how small it may seem.

As I sit here with the book in hand and read the words, I am in awe that God used me to write these things. I am in awe that God has blessed me with experiencing these things. This mixture of advice column, devotion book, and love story. It has already made me cry and laugh this morning - and I'm excited to share it with you! There's something about holding a book in your hands, smelling it, highlighting it, being able to search it and know it that trumps looking at a computer screen.

 

If you're interested in having your own copy or buying one for a friend, mom, grandma, daughter, aunt, cousin, coworker, teacher...please let me know! I'll be selling them for $10 a book. I can order any time. 

Here are the different sections offered in the book (Or the different "Pieces of my Heart"): 

I.                   About Me

Learn my heart, my quirks, my insecurities, and my passions.

II.                Life

My random musings on life: advice, stories, observations, and encouragement.

III.             God

Meet my God and learn about His redemption, His heart, His purpose, and His hope for each of us.

IV.             Women of the Bible

There are some pretty amazing women who set examples for us long ago – hear just a few of their stories and be encouraged by their heart.

V.                Friendships

I’ve been blessed with some beautiful, amazing, godly friends. Get to know them and take time to appreciate your friends and the special people in your life.

VI.             Our Story

This is my own love story written by an awesome God and starring my partner, best friend, and forever love

VII.          Relationships

Dating relationships – relationships in general – can be tough sometimes. I share my thoughts and experiences with romantic relationships and life before and in preparation of marriage.

VIII.       Marriage

The topic I am most passionate about is marriage. How it works, what God intended, and my own personal experiences as a newlywed. 

Amendment One - Not the only issue

I try to keep my opinions of politics and the state of the United States off of my blog. If I started blogging about those things, then I would probably want to share my opinions too much.  This one will be far more controversial than most things that I write about. This is not directly about Amendment One. And I don't want to debate politics, but I do want to explore some serious issues.

 With the issue of Amendment One taking over my facebook newsfeed and on the forefront of the minds of North Carolinians everywhere, it has made me think hard about many issues.

First of all, I am proud of Christians who take a stand for what they believe in without bullying others. Christians who vocalize their beliefs and stick to them without abusing others. I believe a lot of things are a sin - but I still hope that I can show love and hope and God's redemption to the sinner. 

I do believe homosexuality is a sin. Homosexual relationships, partnerships, marriage...I believe it is a sin. God created male and female for a reason - and I love the way that the characteristics and personality traits of men and women normally fit so well together. We are partners. We complement each other. We were made to. I think, even if you are not a Christian, it is obvious just by the way we are all made that men and women are meant to be together. The world wouldn't continue unless men and women were together. So I will never vote in favor of something that I don't believe in. 

Honestly? I don't think the issue of homosexual relationships has singlehandedly ruined the sanctity of marriage. I think that the sanctity of marriage was in trouble far before Ellen DeGeneres became so popular. I think the beauty and strength and purpose of marriage became watered down when Britney Spears got an annulment after only 55 hours of marriage. I think the fact that I'm more surprised when a Hollywood couple stays married longer than a handful of years than when they don't has done much to ruin the beauty of marriage. I think that the number of children who never knew their father, who experienced abandonment by their mother, the people all around us who have been married time and time again, the couples going in to marriage with no idea of what it even means, the couples living together before getting married, the wives that tear down their husbands and husbands that would rather stay at work than go home.... I think all of that did just as much - if not more - to destroy the sanctity of marriage. God's plan was in the beauty of one woman and one man being partners and best friends and lovers for life.

I will repeat that I think homosexuality is a sexual sin. Period. But I think there are other sexual sins that need to garner just as much attention and passion from us. There are twelve year old girls being pressured to do things that I didn't even know existed until I was in college (some things I probably still don't know about). There are fifteen year old boys making checklists of the girls they've been with and things they've done. There are young women on the streets selling themselves because they don't know any other way. There are men who find refuge from their families at strip clubs. And the threat of sexual predators on the internet is hard to miss - whether it's a 30-year-old man winning over a 16-year-old girl or the half naked women that pop up on the side of every webpage beckoning guys to click on them. Innocence is being stolen away rapidly on every corner in every classroom and office and bedroom...and it's scary. 

Other than voting for or against an amendment - what are we doing about it?

I think we need to start being passionate about people. We need to start showing love to people. Sharing Jesus with people. Praying for people. Caring for people. Showing them that there is a Savior who has overcome sin!

I'm not suggesting that Amendment One is not an issue. I'm just suggesting that it's not the only one. 

Life's Pause Button

 Sometimes - for only a moment - I like to pause life. Look around. Hear it. Smell it. See it. And realize how many God-things and answered prayers and dreams-come-true got me to this point. Realize how blessed I am. Enjoy the moment. Really find bliss in the blessings.

It doesn't seem like that long ago that I was a 13-year-old girl praying for and dreaming about her future husband - having no idea who he was or how I would meet him or what our story would hold. 

It seems like only a little while ago that I was a senior in high school, listening to "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts, driving home, tears falling down my cheeks because I was terrified of the unknown that lay ahead at college.

And has it really been over two years since I graduated from college unsure of what my career goals were and crying because I didn't want to leave my friends, my professors, my school-home behind? 

Then there were all those days that I would stare at my left hand - wishing for one...really two...rings. Wondering if and when Derrick Green would ask me to be his wife. 

A year ago I was planning a wedding (or frustrating my mom by not wanting to plan a wedding). Stressed about trying to find a home. Researching honeymoon locations and cupcake flavors. Planning a 125th ball at work. Counting down the days. 

And now here we are. Married. Settled. Blessed. He makes me laugh and works in his office and plays with my hair and holds me close. I make our lunches and do the laundry and scratch his back and write him random love notes all the time. We are crazy together and cuddly together and boring together and busy together. We're best friends. 

And it's not just being blessed in marriage - there's so much more than that. There's the comfort of home. The blessing of getting to experience traditions and laugh and make new memories with our families. Getting to eat and fellowship and watch movies and go on adventures with friends . Worshiping our amazing Savior with our great church family. Having a job - more than that a job that we enjoy, where we're challenged to grow.

I realize that God has been beyond good to me. I have been given much, and I hope that I never quit trying to use my blessings to bless and encourage others. 

No matter what your story is or what you're going through - everyone has their own blessings to be thankful for and to find contentment in. There's a reason God has you where you are. For such a time as this (Esther 4:14).

I guess I just never want to forget - in the chaos and in the calm - to appreciate where I am, where I've come from, and where I'm going. To see God's amazing hand in it all. And to really enjoy each moment.

Sometimes you've got to hit life's pause button to find bliss in the blessings.  To be that 13-year-old dreamer again. To see order in the chaos. To remember the good in the God-things. To see your purpose for such a time as this.

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. 

Ephesians 3:20,12

What a Woman!

This past week in my girls' bible study we discussed the Proverbs 31 woman. What an example! What a challenge to each of us! 

As we read, I had the girls choose one quality of the Proverbs 31 woman that came easiest to them, one that was hardest for them, and one that was most important to them. It was an awesome reminder that God made us all different, yet we can all work together to accomplish some pretty awesome things. 

Before we begin, I must say that I know, as women, we try to do it all. I know I do. We try to be everything below. But we can't do it without God working through us. And we can't do it without taking time to take care of ourselves. Know what your priorities are. Know what God is calling you to do. And be okay saying "No" to some things that don't fit those lists. It's better to give 100% to the five priorities God is calling you to focus on then 60% to everything. (I'm still struggling with this myself.)

I hope you will be encourage, inspired, and challenged by the passage below and my application of it.

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 

I love the words above and try to live up to them in my marriage. Too often today wives belittle and discourage their husbands - but it's our job to be a wife our husband can trust, a wife that takes care of our husband and builds him up with our words and actions. 

She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.

She gets up while it is still night; she provides for her family and her servants.

  This woman works hard to see that her family is taken care of and has the best of provisions. She is not lazy, but is willing to give up her time to watch over and provide for her home.  She not only takes the care of her family, but also takes care of those who work for her... 

She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night

Not only is she wise with her time, but she is also wise with her money. She is active in the family budget, making wise investments, and her husband can trust her with the family finances.

In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her house;all of them are clothed in scarlet.

She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 

This woman isn't lazy, but uses her talents and resources for her family and others. Not only does she give her time and heart for her own family, but she takes the time to give back to those who may not be as blessed as she is. While her first priority is taking care of her family and making sure they have all they need, she also makes sure that she presents herself well and represents her family beautifully.

Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders.
She makes linen garments and sells them, supplies the merchants with sashes.

 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 

Her husband is respected by others and able to be successful,  in part because he has a wife he can trust, a wife others admire, a wife who is his partner and help-meet. While her husband is working hard, this woman uses her talents to bring income to the family and provide for others. Because of her hard work and kind spirit, she can look forward to what's ahead with joy, knowing that she is prepared for whatever God has for her.

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

This woman inspires others and speaks carefully, sharing her experiences and wisdom. She does not let things get past her in her home, but actively prays for, watches out for, and takes care of her home. 

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done, let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

What a life to live and legacy to leave! She is admired and appreciated by her husband - who has confidence in her as his partner through life - and her children, who have been taken care of and have had the godly influence of their hardworking, kind mother. She will be honored and her legacy will be great. 

Communication

Communication. 

Derrick and I have our degrees in it. But I can promise you - even after 4 years of classes and a lot of other personal research - I am not a perfect communicator. 

I enjoy philosophical conversations. "What if...", "Why do you think God did that...", "Do you think if _______ happened then ________ would happen?", "Do you think that God allows a song to come on the radio just for you?"...

Derrick prefers conversations about his passion: video. And I am in awe and envious of the way he can know so much about one subject. His ability to research, learn, and discuss videographer always amazes me.

Of course, 75% of our conversation is just 5-year-old best friend speak: "You're cute", "You're fun", "You're awesome", "You're funny","You're my best friend", "You're ridiculous", "You're crazy"... And, while those things seem silly and not-so-important much of the foundation of our relationship is appreciating each other and sharing that often and in many ways. Compliments and appreciation are a part of communication.

While we don't always communicate like we should or in the same ways, I think that communication is such an important part of my relationship with Derrick. My relationship with God. And of any relationship.

One thing I love about Derrick and my relationship - and hope for my relationship with God - is that we try to have a constant flow of communication about everything. All the day to day stuff. 

I try to talk it over with Derrick before making plans with friends, making appointments outside of work, inviting people over, etc. I want to share my life with him and consider him before making plans.

Derrick always enjoys talking with me about what he's thinking about buying before he buys it. He wants to share his life with me and hear my thoughts before making bigger purchases.

When I think he's said something that I don't agree with or something that has hurt me, I wait until we're alone, and I respectfully share my heart and my hurt with him.  How you communicate - your tone, your heart, your words - is so important to your relationship to.

We aren't perfect. And sometimes we don't talk about some things we should, and it presents a problem later. But I think too many couples - families, friends - don't discuss their daily lives with one another. They don't want to share their plans or their passion or their purchases or their heart or their hurt. Before they know it, they don't know how to get back. They don't know how to talk. They don't know how to be partners in life.

If you're going to choose to share your life with someone, then choose to share your life with them.