Departure Time: Tomorrow

Tomorrow morning at 7 a.m. Derrick and I will depart from my house on our way to Cincinnati, Ohio to celebrate the marriage of one of my best friends. This trip has been a source of much anticipation. Anxiety. Speculation. Stress. Planning. And excitement.

I am a planner. And I like to be in control. Going 10 hours away, not sure what to expect, where things are, and not knowing many people doesn't seem like a controlled situation to me. What's the traffic going to be like? Are we going to get there in time? What's Derrick going to do while I'm doing bridesmaids stuff? Did I pack everything? Do I have all the information I need?

Chill.

The truth: I'm excited. This weekend holds the promise of an adventure. An adventure that holds new things and unique situations. An adventure that isn't perfectly planned or thought out - but is holding on by faith and anticipation. An adventure that I get to go on with my very best friend.

The truth: I'm ready. This weekend holds the promise of celebration. Celebrating the love of my life and how blessed I am to have him. Celebrating all of the many blessings that God has given me in 2010 - and taking time to reflect on a truly wonderful year. Celebrating the beginning of a New Year - new blessings, new adventures, new friendships, new memories. Celebrating a marriage and my wonderful and fun friendship with Jessi Buker (soon-to-be Chiu).

The truth: I'm looking forward to it. This weekend holds the promise of a memory. A memory that no one can ever take a way. That I can hold onto forever. That Derrick and I can laugh about and find warmth in. That Jessi and I can share, a memory that will make our friendship stronger. A decade from now we'll still talk about the New Years that we spent in Ohio...and that will be something special.

10 hours in a car with Derrick, listening to new cds and snapping pictures of new places, talking about everything and nothing, laughing and singing. Meeting new friends and sharing fun times with a wonderful group of girls. An afternoon in a new city with a camera in one hand and Derrick holding the other. Celebrating a beautiful day with one of my dearest friends. That's life. That's adventure. That's celebration. That's a memory. It doesn't sound too bad, now does it?

Photo. Shoot.

This past Wednesday I had the pleasure of spending an hour getting some great shots of one of my students. Kayla was a blast to work with - because I could experiment and be ridiculous, and she was willing to experiment with me. The photos turned out well - and every little bit helps me learn. I think it's important for everyone to feel like a star for a few hours -expressing their beauty through photos that capture a little of their personality.

The Taylor photo shoot today was fun. I wanted to do a lot of different shots - normal, creative, artsy... The weather was frigid, and I believe we all lost feeling in our limbs, but things went really well. They were a joy to work with - and Jeremy was a good sport. The shoot taught me a lot, and I hope to continue to improve. I loved looking through the pictures because it captured the story that is Jeremy and Bethany.

 

Photography!

Memories. Captured.

Derrick and I are starting to be more serious about photography - which has been a passion of ours for a while now. I believe we each have different gifts and talents in this area, but we both enjoy taking pictures, editing pictures, capturing a moment. Please feel free to contact us if you're interested in a photo session!

I'm excited to have a few photo shoots this week! I'll keep you posted.

DG*Foto

LillianRenee Photography

 

Music!

i love music. 

To me, music is the most spiritual, out-of-this-world experience other than God and love. It can express what you can't find the words to say. It can convey an emotion. Change a mood. Take you back to a memory. It comforts and celebrates. It cries and laughs.

I appreciate all types of music. But country holds my heart. It's in my blood. It's a passion of mine. I'm a country purist. I don't like when country singers cross over or when I hear a country song on a non-country station. There's something so real and beautiful about country musicians. They could be your neighbor. The beautiful woman that sings in church. The farmer down the road who is a loving husband and caring father.

My world stops whenever the first few notes of a late 80's/early 90's song pours through the speakers. "Don't Close Your Eyes", "Is There Life Out There", "I See It Now", "The Dance", "Strawberry Wine" and "So Good In Love" are just a few examples of some of those classic songs.

I like Walking after Midnight with Patsy and drawl out every letter of D-I-V-O-R-C-E as I listen to that unmistakable voice that is Tammy Wynette. And if I could have a concert in heaven? Well, it just might be from Keith Whitley - if he trusted God as his Savior and finds his home up there.

The Judds are on my Christmas list...because "Love Can Build A Bridge" is hands down one of the greatest. songs. ever.

Tonight on my way home I listened to Dolly Parton's "Hard Candy Christmas"...3 times! And sang it with all my might. It's my favorite Christmas song. It's sad and strong and weak and vulnerable. Her voice sounds like you could shatter it, yet it has a strength and purity that is seldom found. And the song sounds like candy. The last few words are like a hug from Dolly herself.


I think that music is one of the biggest blessings that we have here on earth. Listen to it. Appreciate it. Sing at the top of your lungs at the stoplight; it will inspire others! Enjoy it :)

Abundant Joy and Thanks!

I am so thankful for so many things. It would take a novel of pages to express the gratitude that my heart feels. I owe it to God's everlasting mercy to try to share a little bit of my heart and my appreciation in the form of words on a page.

I have grown up in a wonderful, loving home. With a father who provided for us above and beyond our needs; more than that, he constantly lets me know he is proud of me. He looks forward to coming home to his family at the end of each day and spending time with us. And he loves my mother and isn't afraid to say so. I am thankful for that. I have grown up in a taken-care-of, beautiful home. With a mother who worked hard to take care of us and be our number one cheerleader. She is always patient with us and has a positive attitude. She is a great example of a wife and mother. She was the contant party-planner and encourager. I am thankful for that. I have grown up in a crazy, fun home. With a brother who was like a best friend. Who was silly with me, understood me, and loved me. I am thankful for that.

I have a big, crazy, dysfunctional family. All of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents still live within 15 miles of each other. We spend holidays together. Have lunches together. And are the subject of many memories, joys, laughter, headaches, frustrations, and happy times in each other's lives. We are a crazy family. An old-fashion family. A supportive family. I am thankful for that.

I have a group of amazing, godly, encouraging friends who have been in my life, on average, a decade. It’s wonderful when you have a group of girls that you grew up with, dreamed with, laughed with, and made memories with…and now I get to witness them as they become who they always dreamed about being, embracing the future we often wondered about. What would our jobs be? Who would we marry? What did God have planned for our future? We’re there now. Living the future that, as 15 year olds, we stayed up late dreaming about.

Why were we the ones that stuck together? Why are these girls still so woven into my heart that I can't imagine my life (past, present, or future) without them? How does it work out that we only see each other 2-5 times a year, and yet our hearts stay connected as if we never left. Sure, we're growing up and, in a way, growing apart. We don't share every memory anymore. We aren't each other's primary source of laughter and comfort. Yet, we are such an amazing part of each other's lives. And over the past decade, we have made more memories and taught each other more than probably anyone else. Yay for lingerie shower # 3, # 4 is right around the corner :) I am thankful for that.

I have a wonderful, dream job that only God could have planned for. A year ago I was working at a wedding dress shop, struggling to have a positive attitude amidst the chaos. Then I planned to do Public Relations for a bakery in Apex, which would have me working chaotic hours and driving through traffic to get to a negative work atmosphere. I cried when I graduated from Campbell because I didn't want to leave. I thought the future seemed scary...When I heard, through a God-thing, about the job at Campbell, I couldn't get it off my mind. Maybe it was my answer. Maybe. I felt like if I applied then I would get it (not being vain, I just had a feeling). That was my fear. If I applied and got it then I would actually have to do the job. Was I old enough? Mature enough? Here I am. Working an amazing dream job at a place that I've always loved. Working with encouraging people who share my faith and passion. I have a wonderful boss and work family - and I am blessed with the freedom to be creative, innovative, and make a difference in the lives of students. God's plans are so much better than anything we could imagine or achieve on our own. I am thankful for that.

I have my dream guy who is constantly making me smile. Isn't it crazy to realize that Derrick was six miles away growing up? Ten miles down the road all during school. And in the next seat over the first two years of college. Yet, God worked it out so that Junior year of college I realized God had a better plan for me than the one I was currently choosing. God had a man who already made me laugh, challenged me, comforted me, made me roll my eyes, and made me smile...and God was going to allow him to become the hero in my love story. A last minute Christmas party that Derrick wasn't even supposed to be invited to changed everything. And I am so glad it did. Now I am blessed with a man I can be silly with, talk with, laugh with, have a future with. We're not perfect, but we're pretty perfect for each other. I am thankful for that.

What blessings beyond what I deserve! And to think that I have all of that in addition to a bed, air conditioning, a television, the gift of music, legs that walk and eyes that see, a car that has been faithful to get me where I'm going, food when I'm hungry, sweet tea, numerous copies of the bible, a history of godly and well-rounded education, a wonderful church that has accepted me, many families who have welcomed me into their lives, friends, coworkers and acquaintances who warm my heart, a computer to work on, a memory to smile at...and a relationship with a God and Savior who died so that I may live!

On my mind today...

Thankful and Blessed
                Selfish and Vain

Derrick and I were talking about what we wanted for Christmas the other night on the phone. I paused and forced myself to glance at the situation - which I often do to put my life in perspective. There I was...in my bed. In my room. On my phone. With my boyfriend. With my television on. My computer to the left of me. A bottle of water and cup of sweet tea to the right of me. A closet full of clothes. How dare I desire anything more than what I already had? There are children out there who have never experienced any of those things I just mentioned. People who can't even imagine such blessings. How thankful and appreciative I must be that God has blessed me so abundantly. And I deserve none of it.
Yet, as thankful as I truly am, I still want things. I would like new boots and a new coat. New CDs, new books. Some jewelry. Work clothes. Gift cards. Art. I would like to be a wife, have a home, buy my own Christmas decorations.
There is the constant pull in my heart between complete awe and gratitude - and selfish desire. I never forget how blessed I truly am - but I don't think I ever really understand it either.

                                                                Kids Today

This is a random post, obviously. But they do tie together (in a very Renee way, I'm sure). My above thoughts caused me to realize how blessed and selfish we are as a society. And here we go...

Sometimes I think of the future, and I worry about my future children. Last night, radio surfing, I stopped on a song that would probably be classified as hip-hop. The song was full of suggestive lyrics. Maybe suggestive is putting it softly. Just plain crude. In addition, the writer of the song seemed to lack the ability to understand grammar altogether. In today's society it is evidently accepted to replace sounds and slang for words and explanations. I can't even stand the shorthand people use to text. I like to spell my words out. And use punctuation. (I will admit, as a side note, I do jam out to some hip-hop every once in a while. But I thank God I have discernment and understanding.)

Also, some kids today seem to think they have a right to expect all the "nicest" things. Why does it matter if it's brand name? And who in the world can honestly justify spending over $100 on a purse- when you can get one for $20 at Target? It makes NO sense to me. No wonder the majority of Americans are in debt. I'm a knock-off, not-name-brand, bought-it-on-sale kinda girl. And I'm doing just fine. Thank you, Mom.

I'm not blaming the youth of today. I'm saying that we need to be there for them. Encourage them. Stop setting a bad example. Stop letting them get away with things. And pray for them - the pressures of today are great. The insecurities and temptations are screaming from every direction. And the vowels seem to be dropping like flies.

Thank you for your patience with my rantings of today. Thank you for your place in my life. Honestly, thank you.

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, [therewith] to be content. Philippians 4:11

i believe in God.

i believe in God. i believe He is the Creator. Author. Director. Sustainer. Provider. Father. Comforter. and Friend. i believe in Jesus Christ. i believe Jesus was a great man. but Jesus is also my Savior. He was sent from His seat in heaven to live on a sinful earth and to die for the same people who persecute Him, ignore Him, laugh at Him. He died for me. for you. i believe in a Holy Spirit that comforts me. guides me. and a heaven that awaits me - where Jesus will welcome me with a huge hug. the best hug ever.

"in the beginning God..."

On a recent road trip, the topic of religion came up. After an hour of bouncing around our beliefs and ideas - I was convicted to go home and break down why I believe what I believe. I narrowed it down to six things, but I wanted to write a hundred more (my blessings, my Derrick, music, my friendships, my story and how things came to be - all evidence of God). For today, here are six reason I believe in God. And I want to share them with you.

1. Logic and Faith - I'm going to be blunt: Evolution makes no sense to me. Okay, so we evolved from monkeys (or whatever)? Then why are there people walking the earth and monkeys walking the earth - but no in between? Shouldn't something be evolving? And how did we get here? A small little tadpole creature crawled out of the muck and began to become what we are today? Where did the little creature come from? Where did the universe come from? The earth? A big bang? How did something come from nothing? I have many of the same questions about your evolution that you have about my God. I'm not saying nothing ever evolves (within context). I'm just saying it's not how the world got here.

Yes, the fact that there is a Infinite Source who has always been here and will always be is a little overwhelming. Any belief takes faith - but I think it makes more sense that there was one Everlasting Being who created everything else. He took time to make everything how it should be (see point 2).

More than that, the Bible represents so much historical truth. The people, the lives, the stories, the places, and events in the Bible represent proven truth.

2. Creation - I look outside and see trees waving in the wind. Grass. Water. Sky. But, above all that, I see people. How can you look at the world and not have a small bit of belief in an Artist who did it all? My body is put together in the perfect way to help me function day to day. I look at the sameness of humans and it's evident that there is a Creator. I look at the uniqueness of humans and it's evident that there is a Creator. Each person has passions and talents and gifts. We like different foods and appreciate different music. God did that.

And, of course I must mention this, He writes and creates our love stories. How amazing is it that any two people find each other out of all of the other people in the world and find a future with each other? I've heard some awesome love stories - stories that I believe God enjoys penning.

3. Comfort and Peace -I know God, because I feel Him in my life. When I'm stressed, I can call out to Him and I feel His comfort. When I am burdened, I find rest in Him. More than that, I have an inner peace and joy that can't be shaken by circumstances or reason. It's a peace and joy that comes through being a child of the Father. I have comfort in knowing that whatever happens in my life happened for a reason. God has the master plan - and He holds and blesses my future. All things work together for good for those who trust in Him!

4. Purpose - So many people live their life wondering what their purpose is. It's so sad the way they search for meaning. I've found it. I'm hardly worthy on my own - and probably would struggle to find purpose too - if I didn't have a God who believes in me and gives me a purpose.

First of all, I am here to represent my God. To tell other's about Him and share His love. Secondly, He gives me purpose every day as an admissions coordinator.a girlfriend. a daughter. a friend. a granddaughter. an encourager. a listener. a writer. a campbell alumni. All of these facets of who I am create my purpose. Some people save others. Some teach others. Some heal others. Some protect others. Some provide music, art, entertainment for others. Some care for others. Some inform others. I (try to) encourage others.

5. Friendship - Jesus is my Best Friend. i love talking to Him. Crying to Him. Being selfish to Him. Confiding in Him. And getting to know Him. And He's always there! I can talk to Him in the middle of the night without worrying about waking Him up. I can talk to Him as I drive or take a bath or tan or in the silence of my room. It's a real friendship. It's a beautiful friendship.

6. Salvation - i am a sinner in need of a Savior. i can't save myself, but there is Someone who is perfect and strong...who was willing to die and live again to save me. I have salvation in my belief and my relationship. I have trust and faith. It's not a salvation earned through my works, but it's a free gift based on my belief.

So, what if I'm wrong (I have no doubts...but for all you skeptics...)? What if my faith has been misplaced all this time? Well, I lived my life with moral values (given by the bible) and loved others.

But what if I'm right...

And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name:

That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Philippians 2: 8-11