Just a reminder, if you didn't read the first post...
I've joined forces with some of my best wifey-friends to write these posts.
Our thoughts, ideas and experiences are mixed in together -
as one - so you will have no idea who is credited with what :)
Here's what you should know before we dive in:
1. We believe that God created sex as an act of love, intimacy and connection
(and baby making) between a husband and a wife within the union of marriage.
2. If you have had sex outside of marriage, we believe in a God who loves redeeming and restoring.
3. We realize that our experiences aren't everyone's.
We also realize that we're all still pretty much in our newlywed stages so we aren't experts.
But it's our heart to share with you.
Communication.
I've joined forces with some of my best wifey-friends to write these posts.
Our thoughts, ideas and experiences are mixed in together -
as one - so you will have no idea who is credited with what :)
Here's what you should know before we dive in:
1. We believe that God created sex as an act of love, intimacy and connection
(and baby making) between a husband and a wife within the union of marriage.
2. If you have had sex outside of marriage, we believe in a God who loves redeeming and restoring.
3. We realize that our experiences aren't everyone's.
We also realize that we're all still pretty much in our newlywed stages so we aren't experts.
But it's our heart to share with you.
Communication.
Sure, some of us have degrees in it...but none of us are perfect communicators and communication can become a huge issue in marriage.
Even when it comes to sex.
First of all, as you’re figuring out relationships, marriage roles, and sex - don't be afraid to ask for help, to talk about it with your spouse, your friends and godly counselors. Men and women are different and have different views of the world. That's ok - it’s how God made us. It's not always easy to talk about things or ask for help, but you don't have to feel like you are the only one experiencing a specific situation. You may feel like other wives have everything under control or that other marriages are perfect, but if you open up your heart with them, you might find a kindred spirit going through the same thing.
In your marriage, talk to each other.
Especially about expectations. Most arguments, hurt feelings, and frustrations occur because expectations are way off. If I expect a night of watching a movie on the couch until it's time to sleep because I'm exhausted, but he comes home ready to get it on, we are definitely not on the same page. And expectations aren't just about sex. If I expect the clean dishes in the dishwasher to be put away while I'm out for the night as a "surprise," even though I don't ask, he's probably not going to do it and I'll be frustrated. Expectations are what I've realized start almost all of our "disagreements." Talking them out first saves a lot of hurt feelings.
Most of the time issues over sex have been because of miscommunication or assumptions. Like when I wear matching bra and undies and he doesn't automatically assume I was doing that to impress him and let him know that I'm ready.... BUT make up sex is great when you've both talked through the issue and want to restore intimacy!
If sex is something you struggle with, talk to the Lord about it! He created it, he wants it for us, it says in the Bible that the only reason we should abstain from sex with our spouse is if we are in an established time of prayer & fasting! So basically the Bible is telling married couples to have lots of sex when you think about it! So talk to Him about it. Ask Him to instill in you a desire for it. Ask Him to show you how to love and serve your husband best. After all, He knows you and your husband best! He understands! I honestly believe He can give you a desire and to work through any problems with itI know I've prayed it before when I haven't felt like having sex! It may sound weird but you can talk to the Lord about anything.
Don't be afraid to talk to your spouse about sex.
After all, they are your best friend - and they're the only ones who get to figure it out with you.
Even when it comes to sex.
First of all, as you’re figuring out relationships, marriage roles, and sex - don't be afraid to ask for help, to talk about it with your spouse, your friends and godly counselors. Men and women are different and have different views of the world. That's ok - it’s how God made us. It's not always easy to talk about things or ask for help, but you don't have to feel like you are the only one experiencing a specific situation. You may feel like other wives have everything under control or that other marriages are perfect, but if you open up your heart with them, you might find a kindred spirit going through the same thing.
In your marriage, talk to each other.
Especially about expectations. Most arguments, hurt feelings, and frustrations occur because expectations are way off. If I expect a night of watching a movie on the couch until it's time to sleep because I'm exhausted, but he comes home ready to get it on, we are definitely not on the same page. And expectations aren't just about sex. If I expect the clean dishes in the dishwasher to be put away while I'm out for the night as a "surprise," even though I don't ask, he's probably not going to do it and I'll be frustrated. Expectations are what I've realized start almost all of our "disagreements." Talking them out first saves a lot of hurt feelings.
Most of the time issues over sex have been because of miscommunication or assumptions. Like when I wear matching bra and undies and he doesn't automatically assume I was doing that to impress him and let him know that I'm ready.... BUT make up sex is great when you've both talked through the issue and want to restore intimacy!
If sex is something you struggle with, talk to the Lord about it! He created it, he wants it for us, it says in the Bible that the only reason we should abstain from sex with our spouse is if we are in an established time of prayer & fasting! So basically the Bible is telling married couples to have lots of sex when you think about it! So talk to Him about it. Ask Him to instill in you a desire for it. Ask Him to show you how to love and serve your husband best. After all, He knows you and your husband best! He understands! I honestly believe He can give you a desire and to work through any problems with itI know I've prayed it before when I haven't felt like having sex! It may sound weird but you can talk to the Lord about anything.
Don't be afraid to talk to your spouse about sex.
After all, they are your best friend - and they're the only ones who get to figure it out with you.
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