Women have a way of comparing ourselves to others and building our worth based on that. I remember that someone once told me that girls checked out other girls more than they checked out guys or guys checked out girls - because we're studying them, wishing we had their legs, their hair...or we're tearing them apart, criticizing them because of our own weaknesses. Isn't this a tragedy? No one understands the heart of a woman (other than God) better than other women - and yet we exploit that fact.
It has been 2 years since I've watched The Bachelor, but this season I am completely hooked. I love the psychology of human nature. I love the desire and heart of women. And The Bachelor encompasses so many positive things that girls dream about(being wooed, romantic dates, cocktail dresses, and roses) and so many negative things that girls experience (rejection, being compared to other women, wondering if he likes you, feeling foolish, not feeling good enough)... As we watch the show, we understand how the women can feel special when he pulls them aside, but we also understand how they can feel weak and confused.
The show is set up in such a way that all of these women are constantly comparing themselves to the other women. Feeling inferior (or superior if you were Michelle) to each other. And, while I believe some of them do form real friendships, they are all hoping the other woman goes home.
I'm also studying Hannah this week (Read 1 Samuel 1&2). Hannah's husband had two wives and, while he seemed to favor Hannah and love her completely, Hannah felt second best... because she couldn't have children. Hannah was sad and bitter, desiring to have a baby. She was looked down upon by the other wife and, I suspect, she didn't feel good enough for her husband. Even though her husband loved her completely just as she was - Hannah couldn't accept that. Of course, God had a plan for Hannah - and that story has a happy ending.
Left and right we're trying to be better than the next girl. Maybe we should stop looking around and start looking at ourselves. If we all, as women, focused on trying to be the best person, the best woman, that we could be - then I think we would all come out ahead. If instead of looking down on each other, we built each other up - then it would make us all better women. If instead of flaunting ourselves to look better, we respected what we have and presented it modestly, then we wouldn't cause other women to feel inferior. If instead of trying to turn every man's head, we focused on being the best partner for the man that God has blessed us with - I think that everyone's relationship would be much better.
How many hearts would be left unbroken, relationships left intact and tears left uncried- if we quit trying to be better than each other and instead focused on building one another up and being the best we can be.
I have my flaws, and I could sit here and name off the reasons that I am not as good as so and so...but so could she. I have my imperfections. Imperfections that sometimes cause me to feel inferior and not good enough. But so does every other woman out there. And maybe if I took more time to notice the positive things about the beautiful women in my life - then little by little we could build one another up.
It's okay to want to be better. I am a firm believer in always striving to be better. Just don't spend your time and energy trying to be better than her.
Excellent, Renee. So true!!!!
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