A comfortable existance...

I am afraid I have become too comfortable. Too complacent. Too indifferent.

I ask God almost every day to use me. Use me to reach others. Use me to encourage others. Use me to share Him. But when it comes down to it, do I really allow Him to use me when it might make me uncomfortable? Not so much.

I have family members, coworkers, people that I come in contact with every single day who don't truly know what it is to have a relationship with the Lord. They believe there is a God. They believe Jesus existed. But they don't choose every day to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. They don't know what it is to have redemption and freedom through Christ.

These people are in my life. God has given me the opportunity to reach out. But I'm too afraid that it will become uncomfortable. That they'll think I'm weird. Judgmental. So I say nothing...I keep praying to be used, but I say nothing. I don't know how to begin. I don't know what to say. And I don't know if I am the one who's supposed to share or if God has another plan.

I was talking to a friend today who just got back from 10 days in a third world country. A region that is just recently hearing the gospel for the first time. And, upon getting saved, the natives are encouraged to tell the Good News to everyone they know. And they do. With a thirst and desperation, they share what has happened to them. They risk ridicule, rejection, and even death to share their childlike passion and relationship with God with everyone they know and love. And I, who am blessed beyond anything I could ever deserve, am too afraid to share.

I love my life. I am so incredibly blessed with my husband, my family, my friends, my job, and my church. But, when I think of what matters for eternity, I wonder if I should be doing more. Traveling the world for Him. Giving away my possessions for Him. Giving up my comfort for Him.

If my world were shaken, would I still be able to hold true to my relationship with Him? Would I have unwavering faith? Would I still trust God?

In 100 years, what difference will I have made? What evidence will God have that I was a good and faithful servant? And will I get to heaven, only to realize that those I could have reached were left behind...

Pray for me to have the courage to be used. To have the words to share His redemption. Pray for me to be passionate. Pray for me to be uncomfortable.