Birthdays. Weddings. Things that involve me as the center of attention...

I'll be honest...

I like the presents.

I like the time with my family.

I like Facebook "Happy Birthdays".

But I don't really like my birthday so much. Or maybe I just don't see the big deal. I don't like people singing to me. I don't like cake. I don't like people expecting me to know what I want to do. I don't like being the center of attention.I grew up having and enjoying birthday parties - so it's not tied to a terrible memory from childhood. It just is what it is.

Plus, I didn't do anything to get here. I owe my parents for that. I had no say so in it. I didn't have to do much work. I just arrived - after much pain and preparation. And then they took care of me for 20 years. I think I owe my parents on my birthday - not vice versa (although I am very excited about and thankful for my new clothes and giftcards).


I am excited to be Derrick's wife.

I love my dress.

I'm looking forward to spending time with my friends.

And I am so grateful for all of the support of our wonderful family and friends.

But sometimes my wedding seems a little like my birthday. I don't want to be the center of attention. A quiet affair of celebration sounds just as nice. Just a simple promise of forever. Not dealing with and obsessing over the details. Not being expected to know exactly what I want and passionately care about getting it perfect. Not walking out in front of hundreds of people. That seems a little daunting.

Just like with my birthday...I am thankful. Sometimes I am nothing but excited. Sometimes not so much...I like the simple moments. The hidden whispers. The unexpected things that make you laugh. The little things that you don't know why you always remember and hold close to your heart. Birthday shopping with my mom. Sitting next to Derrick on the couch while we discuss Storage Wars. Remembering amazing times with my best friends over a free hotel breakfast. Those things matter more than having the perfect birthday celebration or a glamorous wedding.

God has blessed me so absolutely beyond what I deserve. I realize that - and I try to enjoy and memorize every moment. To never take anything for granted. To find joy in the simplest of things.I know I'll enjoy my wedding day. It will be amazing. But so will the nights watching television on the couch and laughing until we cry as we throw whispers into the dark.