Thank God...for my prayer journal.

I'm a writer.

I love when words flow from my fingertips, and I feel like my mind works better when it is putting together the romance that is words.

Sometimes when I talk aloud to the Lord, I get distracted. By the radio. By the things I need to be doing. By that noise I just heard. By so many things.

I've found that, for me, the best way for me to pour out my heart consistently in prayer is by writing my thoughts, my words, my thanks, my requests. And I do this in a variety of ways.

I have a prayer journal on the computer that I write in a few times a month. I write in it at the beginning of each month - to bless the month, pray for the events of the coming month, and bask in the fact that God is already there. He sees. He knows. He's there. And I write in it periodically throughout the month when I just want to bask in awe or pour out a burden.

I also have a daily notebook that I write in alongside my daily devotion. This is where I reflect to God. I thank Him specifically for that day. I share my feelings and thoughts. And I write my requests for that day.

The really cool thing is that every time I go to God, I can also see where we've been together. How He's been so faithful. How I've grown. How prayers have been answered and are being answered and which prayers still need to be faithfully brought to Him.

I encourage you to start a prayer journal. If you aren't a writer, then simply make a list of daily requests and praises as you pray aloud. Really, God wants you to come to Him completely - whether it's through spoken word or written word.

But it's really cool to write it down. See the journey. See your God work in amazing ways.

Worship...that's what's up.

I am pumped.

Tonight is Relationship Church's first official youth group worship night.

My life group - which meets on Wednesday nights -gets to jump in, help serve, and worship with this group of teenagers.

Being a part of a church that just launched a year ago, I love being able to serve and watch as God blesses and grows Relationship Church. Tonight will just be another example of His faithfulness.

I would love for you to come visit us at RC. We're just sinners saved by the grace of an awesome God who sent His Son to die for us and rise again so that we can have a daily relationship with Him. We're just trying to help people follow Jesus.

Thank God...For Barnabas

I want to be like Barnabas.

Have no idea what I'm talking about? Let's dig deeper.

I've been doing a bible study on Paul. What an awesome Christian with such an amazing passion for the Lord! But he's not my focus for today. See, in the beginning of his spiritual walk, Paul had a sidekick...

His name was Barnabas.

His birth name was Joseph. But his friends called him Barnabas - because it means "Son of Encouragement". 

Barnabas was one of the first Christians to accept and encourage Paul after his conversion.

Barnabas traveled alongside Paul as a partner, mentor and encourager.Paul was the fiery zealous preacher, Barnabas was the encouraging, supportive cheerleader.

They were persecuted together. They were called Christians together. They made a world of difference together.

I wasn't given the fiery passion of Paul. And maybe that's okay.

In my life. At work. In my marriage. I want to be a like Barnabas. I want to encourage. Support. Cheer for those I love.

 

Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means Son of Encouragement), 

 sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostles' feet.

Acts 4: 36-37

He was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith, 

and a great number of people were brought to the Lord. 

Then Barnabas went to Tarsus to look for Saul, 

and when he found him, he brought him to Antioch. 

So for a whole year Barnabas and Saul met with the church and taught great numbers of people.

 The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch.

Acts 11:24-26

Thank God...for His blessings!

It is Easter afternoon this year. We're all having Easter lunch at Derrick and my home. Mom and Dad arrive - carrying a nice brown cloth laundry basket. It's an adult Easter basket of sorts...and my mom can't wait for us to open it.

Inside there is chocolate bunnies. Art. Gift cards. Shower gel and perfume. Clothes. Home goods: toilet paper, windex, paper towels, etc.

Jump ahead five months. It was my birthday, and Mom and I had spent a wonderful day together shopping. We're all at their house for my birthday dinner - and she brings over a reusable grocery bag. I reach in...to find jewelry. Clothes. My favorite shower gel and body spray. A new Beth Moore devotion book.

I always feel badly when my mom goes out of her way to shower us with gifts. It's too much. Really. Yes, I love it. But I also really really appreciate it and really really would be okay just spending the time together.

But, I've come to realize and don't take for granted, my mom loves giving me gifts. 

She loves picking out things just for me. She loves putting them in nice packages. She loves watching us get excited. She loves when we open each gift. She loves sharing our inheritance with us now. And she loves knowing that the gifts she's given us will bless us in the days to come.

How much more does God, my heavenly Father, love to shower His children with gifts! He is the Creator and Lord of all the earth. Blessings are His to create and bestow. And, oh, how He loves creating blessings for us. Wrapping them in nice earthly packages. Watching His children light up with excitement. Watching us realize each gift. And knowing that we will be blessed in the days to come.

Don't take His gifts for granted. But don't push them away either. Your Father loves blessing us beyond what we could ever ask or imagine. He loves surprising us with things that only He could do!

 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, 

according to his power that is at work within us,  

to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations,

 for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21 

 (Theme for Friday...you got it!...Thank GOD... it's Friday.)

How do you SERVE?

At this point in my life, I realize fresh each day that my life isn't just for me. I need to use each day to make a difference in the world, to encourage, to build up, to serve...To make an impact for eternity. It's easy when it's easy. But when it requires me to reach out of my comfort zone or give up my time it becomes a little harder.

So I'm always looking for ways to serve. Opportunities to minister. Little moments throughout the day that God puts in my life to use me. A smile. A kind word. A listening ear. A prayer of support. An opportunity to give. A chance to show mercy and grace.

So many times I miss those moments. I throw away opportunities. I chicken out. I don't feel like I serve enough. I'm still far from giving my life, my time, my resources for God like I should...

So I want to know more ways to serve. I'd love to hear how you serve. In your church. In your community. What organizations you serve with. Creative ways you serve. Every day. On occasion. Using your talents. Giving of your time.

Leave a note below or comment on my facebook post. How do you serve?

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, 

faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 

1 Peter 4:10

Pray big.

I realize I write about my relationship with God a lot. And I have to take a moment to say that yes, I write about it a lot. It's important to me. And it's important to me that I do my best to let Him speak through me to others. It's my voice of ministry.

But I want you to know that I'm not a great Christian. Sometimes I question Him. I debate with Him. I am confused by Him. I don't know Him like I should. I don't feel Him like I should. I don't read His Word like I should.

And I don't talk to Him like I should. 

I don't pray like I need to. And when I do I get distracted. Or feel like I'm not going deep enough. Praying specifically enough. Praying hard enough. Not putting enough heart into it. Not believing enough, trusting enough, caring enough.

At church this month we're reading The Circle Maker, and our sermon series is on the power of prayer. Encouraging us to pray bigger. Pray longer. Pray harder.

Knowing that I fall short in this area and feeling the need for Derrick and I to both focus, pray big, and connect spiritually, I came up with a weekly prayer calendar for the next 28 days. Just a few days in, and it has already been such a blessing. Just hanging out with God together, talking to Him together, verbalizing our thanks, our praises, our fears, and dreams together...

I encourage all of you to set aside a time to pray specifically - alone, with a friend, with your spouse, with a family member. Pray big. He's bigger.

 

I've included our weekly prayer calendar for inspiration. Feel free to steal the idea! 

Sunday 

 Pray for work, our jobs, our careers, and the week ahead

Monday 

 Pray for our marriage, our home, our family

Tuesday 

Pray for the Jones'/Greens' Family

Wednesday 

Pray for unsaved family and friends, for spiritual growth

Thursday 

Pray for the Johnson Family

Friday 

 Pray for our friends

Saturday 

 Pray for Relationship Church, for church growth, for our church family, for the sermon the next day

The same Father...

I am blessed. I never doubt that. But this weekend I was reminded of a blessing that I hope to never forget. A blessing I would wish upon everyone.

The blessing of Christian friends. 

There's an awesome connection with Christians. When those who truly love the Lord come together. When you meet someone who gets it.  Who has been redeemed. Who has a relationship with the Author of life. Who understands that our purpose is bigger than just us. Who love and is in love with their Savior.

I think it's because we have the same Father. We're brothers and sisters in Him. We understand a different purpose. We're redeemed and called by Him. And - another really awesome thing - we'll get to be friends forever (and not in the 5th grade bff kinda way). No matter where this life takes us, we will meet again.

I feel this connection with my group of high school friends. Life has taken us down many different paths, but we are always joined by prayer. Purpose. Memories. A deep love for each other. We see God's hand in our love stories. We pray for patience through Him as we struggle to find jobs. We cry together but know that this isn't the end when we suffer loss. And we rejoice when miracles happen.

I felt this a few years ago when I was meeting a whole new group of people to celebrate a friends wedding....and, despite not knowing them, I felt at home when we joined together to pray blessings on her upcoming marriage.

I feel this every time I get together with my church family...To pray. To hang out. To worship. To laugh and share. No matter what we're talking about - God and His purpose and His provision naturally fits into the conversation. We know there will be struggle. There will be tears. There will be pain. We we know He works all things together for good for those who love Him.

I feel this when Derrick and I have dinner or go boating or meet up after months with our best friends. There's an understanding of church family, an understanding of ministering to others, an understanding of the frustrations and freedom and blessings and God-things that come from being a child of His. We have fun together and make memories together and have crazy conversations together - but never feel pressure to conform to the world. Just freedom to live our lives. It's more than friendship. It's family.

All of this leaves me in awe. I didn't have a steady church family growing up. And my extended family wasn't the "let's get together to pray about this" kinda family (not like Karen Kingsbury's Baxter family).... I pray for them constantly, because I want them to know this joy. I want them to be a part of my bigger family. My forever family.

I'd dare say this is one of the reasons God ordained the church. Yes, it's a place of worship. Of dedication. Of growth. Of service. But it's also a place of family. Of comfort. Of support. He wanted His children to lean on each other, love each other, pray for each other...work together and play together. 

What a blessing it is to know Him! And share Him!

But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” 

Matthew 12:48-50

Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, 

and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Hebrews 10:25

No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, 

God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

 1 John 4:12

So we, though many, are one body in Christ, 

and individually members one of another.

Romans 12: 5

If you don't know Him as your Savior and Father, I invite you to talk to Him today. Tell Him that you realize you're a sinner, but you also realize that He sent His Son to save and redeem You. Feel His freedom and start living for Him today!

Maybe you are a child of God's, but you don't know the blessings of being an active member of a church family. I would encourage you to visit some churches and find the one that is right for you. I would love for you to visit my church - Relationship Church!

"You down there..."

I knew I needed to blog today. It's been a while. But I had no strong inspiration. So I found one of those "20 questions about you..." type deals and was planning to post my answers. It wouldn't be a particularly inspiring blog, but hopefully at least a little interesting. Good enough.

But then it happened. God inspired me through a whisper...

Sometimes when Derrick and I are in different rooms...or sitting on different couches...we'll say "I love you in there.", "I love you over there.", "I love you out there.", etc. 

Tonight he was on his computer in his office and, since he likes me just being there with him, I had sprawled out on the floor in the same room to fold towels and do my James devotion. In the middle of my reading, I hear a whisper from above me.

"I love you down there." Derrick smiled down. Making me feel loved. Safe. Sure. 

"I love you up there." I assured him. 

And then - in that same split second - I knew what I should write about. 

Sometimes we're going through life...feeling alone. Frustrated. Confused. We feel like giving up. We feel like no one would notice if we just stopped altogether. And then, like a warm blanket on the coldest night, God softly whispers "I love you down there."

Sometimes we're celebrating our blessings. We're falling in love. Getting married. Having a baby. Landing our dream job. Traveling the world. Listening to our favorite song on the radio. Basking in the warmth of a good book. Laughing with the best of friends. And, if we pause a minute, we can hear God whispering, "I love you down there."

Isn't that the best feeling? To know that we are loved. Safe. Sure. Someone cared enough to send His Son to die for us. Someone cares what you're going through. Someone is going through it with you. And not just someone - but the Creator and King over all. 

Close your eyes and listen. He's whispering to you. Beckoning you. Reassuring you. Caring for you....

"I love you down there."

And take a moment to thank Him. Adore Him. Worship Him. Praise Him. Whisper back. 

"I love You up there."

Of Mice and Men

Our home is surrounded by fields. 

This means mice. In my house. Invading my security.

I hate mice. And I let them have too much control. If I hear one in the kitchen, then I sit paralyzed in the living room. If I'm unsure where they are but I know they're there then I will go outside. Yes, I let mice run me out of my own home. And recently I haven't slept well, because I wake up in the middle of the night and feel like they're in bed with us. It's a real problem.

Logically, I get it. They're little. They're hungry. They're scared of me. But that doesn't stop me from being terrified. And from letting them invade my haven. My safe place. My home.

Now, I am a clean person. I am obsessive about making sure our home is clean. But having mice has made me take it to a whole other level. I have bought plastic containers for all of our pantry-food. And I am so looking forward to completely cleaning out my pantry this weekend. Rubbing it down. Reorganizing. Cleaning any evidence of mice and trying my best to secure that the problem won't happen again...I'm a little too excited about this cleaning and reorganizing. I'm very Monica about it all (Friends). Very Martha about it all (the Bible). 

If the cleaning and organizing and dozen traps set in my kitchen don't get rid of the mice...my husband says we'll call an exterminator. 

As I sat down to write my blog about my fear of mice and my excitement to clean, I was reminded of God and life and sin. 

How many times do we let sin control our lives? Make us feel unsafe in our own home? Dictate our decisions and leave us paralyzed.? Sure. It starts out small. It climbs its way in through a little hole - one we didn't even notice. It stays hidden for a while - and you don't even realize when it begins to disrupt your life. Next thing you know you are in a ball on the couch, wanting it to go away but unsure of how to get rid of it...and unsure of how you got to this point. 

Maybe its time to clean out the pantry of your heart and mind (yes, i know it sounds stupid - but you get my point). Get rid of the sin. The temptation. The things that may cause you to stumble. The bonds that have you paralyzed. The chains that are keeping you from freedom. The addictions, abuses, memories, temptations, scars that are keeping you from feeling secure in your own home.

Getting rid of the filth and temptation and stumbling blocks - and guarding your heart - is important. But  it isn't enough. Sometimes the sins keep finding holes, weakness, crumbs of insecurity. We can try our best to safeguard our hearts and minds, but when it comes down to it - we need to start and end with a really good exterminator. And God is the only One Who is up for the job.

 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” 

For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone;  

but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by 

their own evil desire and enticed.  Then, after desire has conceived, 

it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

 James 1:13-15

 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, 

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—

if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 

Philippians 4:8

Love Deeply.

I was really struggling yesterday with a few key questions: What am I doing to make a difference in the lives of others? How am I making an impact for Christ? Am I just wasting my time, my opportunities, my talents? What more can I do today, right now?

...and so I decided to share a passage of scripture with you that God shared with me. Hopefully it will inspire you. Don't you love when you look at a verse or passage that you've probably seen at least a dozen times before but this time it means more?

 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.  Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.  Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 4:7-11

There are so many great morsels of truth tucked away in this passage, but I will focus on those words and principles that touched me today, in hopes that they may touch you too.

"Above all, love each other deeply."  Love deeply. Love passionately. Love completely. Do love. Feel love. Act in love. Show love. How often do we - do I - forget to show love to others in everything that I do. And to love those around me deeply and completely. 

"Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling."  The first part of this command is great...but the second part is humbling, and I think it probably speaks to many of us. How often do I volunteer for something or to help someone and yet complain and grumble and have a negative spirit while anticipating actually "offering hospitality". Even though my spiritual gift is exhortation, I am selfish. I like using my time for me when I get the chance...and too often find myself - if only in my mind - having a poor spirit about being kind, welcoming, and helpful to others. 

"Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others..." This is something I try to do everyday but never do enough. We each have different gifts, talents, skills that God has given us. Everyone is different - and its awesome how He made us all unique. And we each have gifts that we've been given that we can use every day to touch others, serve others, encourage others. Never focus on what you're not good at, but take a good look at what you are good at, what you enjoy doing, the talents you have - and then use those traits to serve others and to worship God.

"If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ."  I think this one builds on everything above. If I'm serving with God's strength and to His glory then I shouldn't have a negative spirit, but a spirit of love. If I'm looking for ways daily to use my gifts for God's glory then I can have faith that He will give me strength so that His will and His praise will be accomplished. 

I hope this has encouraged you today. 

To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever.

Tim Tebow

Tim Tebow. Even if you don't know anything about him, you've heard the name a lot recently. (Specifically tonight on facebook)

I don't watch football. I really have no interest in it. They stop and start and stop and start too much for my attention span. But my curiosity has gotten the best of me recently...and I had to research Tim Tebow.

I'm impressed. 

How awesome that there's someone in the spotlight who is unashamed to stand up for his faith in Jesus! Who doesn't shy away from the negative remarks made about him...from those who doubt him.

Tonight - on youtube - I saw about 30 seconds of Saturday Night Live making fun of Tim Tebow...and of Jesus. I couldn't finish watching it. I wouldn't. 

I understand that the world is going to persecute Christians. But it still hurts my heart so much to see it. To see people making fun of my Jesus. My Savior. My Redeemer. My Friend. And to see those who are willing to stand up for Him being persecuted for Him. It all makes me angry. And sad.

It also saddens me to realize that those people laughing about Tim Tebow and Jesus - those people making money making fun - they don't know my Jesus...and they won't spend an eternity with Him unless they come to know Him. Even more reason for us to reach out to the unsaved world.

So right now I'm blogging out of emotion. Anger. Sadness. Urgency.

You can speak out about gay rights.

You can speak out about Kabbalah and Scientology.

Multiple divorces are becoming normal.

And people tune in to see teen pregnancy.  

...we're not supposed to say anything negative about that.

But the world won't listen to the truth. And they make fun of my God. So I'm proud of Tim Tebow. I'm proud of all Christians who stand up for their faith. 

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

2012 - Make it count!

I can't believe it's a new year! Looking back on last year, there are so many wonderful things to cherish, memories to take away, and moments that changed my life. But I love the beginning of the new year. Standing on the brink - and having no idea what memories this year will hold. I can only pray to be used and blessed in a big way this year. And I hope that a year from now I will be looking back and laughing, smiling, cherishing a million memories, and seeing how much I grew in 2012. Seeing that I made a difference. Seeing that a difference was made in me.

I don't make resolutions. I'm not going to try to lose 10 pounds or walk every day. I make no promises. But I do want to make some goals. Dream a little about the next year. Project some things that I wish and hope will happen...and then work on making them a reality.

I easily could have edited these for you, but I wanted to share my heart. My flaws. My goals. My vulnerability. My weaknesses. Aside from a few very personal changes - the list below is my personal list, made in the quiet moments of reflection. Made for myself and shared with you. 

Grow in my relationship with God - I love my daily devotions and enjoy reading about the people in the Bible, desiring to learn God and Jesus more through all of their creation. I truly yearn for and thirst for God's Word and the stories within. But I still need to grow in so many ways. I need to pray more - take time to have a conversation with God. Be less selfish. Give to others more.  Minister more. WITNESS more. Share my faith more. Be more involved with believers. Still take more time for God each day. Be more comfortable talking about Him with others.

Be a respectful, passionate, loving wife - Choose to love Derrick daily - and show him. Put his needs before my own. Pray for him fervently. Be patient and understanding. Appreciate him and respect him. Physically, spiritually, and emotionally love him. Be creative in sharing my love toward him. Be passionate in my love for him. Be positive and uplifting around him and when talking about him to others. Never belittle him or make him feel bad about himself, but encourage him. Do my best to be the Proverbs 31 wife.

Volunteer and help others  - I don't feel like I have given much back in my life. I am truly blessed, yet selfish. I hope to find a ministry, an opportunity, in which I can get plugged in and be involved in giving back. To others. To the community. To those in need. With the bigger picture in mind. I hope I can touch some lives and share my faith and God's grace with them in the process.

Be a good daughter, granddaughter, cousin, niece - Take time to really appreciate my family. And care about them.  Not making family an imposition, but opening up my home and my life to be shared. Loving them and sharing God's love and salvation with them through my actions. Making memories with them by making time to focus on them.

Make time for my friends and make memories with them - Be an encouragement and prayer warrior for them. Make time for dinners and date nights and holiday parties and cookouts, phone calls, texts and skype dates. God has given us each other (and our awesome significant others) to build each other up... I pray that I won't be selfish in my friendship with them. That I won't just use it for my own comfort, but that I will truly give of myself for my friends. Be there for them when they need me. Be selfless in my giving of time to them.

Get 10 people to read my book - touch 10 lives with my story - I don't necessarily want to make a lot of money off of my book, but I do want to share my story with others. I would like for others to be touched by the story of Victoria Ryan...and I want the talent and passion that God has given me not to be hidden...I need to use my love for words and characters and stories to help others.

Work - Go above and beyond at work...in representing Campbell and having a godly spirit in all that I do. Focus on making each event the best it can be. Reach out to students. Be a good mentor for my ambassadors. Come up with creative new initiatives. And face each day with a positive spirit.


Home - In 2012, I would like to build a deck out back for morning hot chocolate and evening cookouts. To plant some bushes out front and clean up the yard. Get some art for the kitchen and living room and spruce up the fireplace. Maybe I'll learn to be more crafty this year...but I want our home to be a safe haven for us and for all who enter. I would love to open up Derrick and my home for friends and family. Invite them over for dinner, have parties, celebrate holidays. I want our home to be a place of rest, of laughter, of refuge, and of ministry. 

Be more diligent about tithing - I am stingy with my money. And I often fall short when it comes to sharing my money with others...thinking that I need it more. Not taking the time to realize that the money is God's provision for me to use wisely.  I need to be diligent about tithing and giving- 10% or MORE. With a cheerful heart. 

Blog - Continue to share my heart through my words. Try to give words of wisdom, advice, and share my heart with you. Focus more on marriage, ministry, and practical advice.

Make memories - Go on adventures. Try new things. Eat at new restaurants. Splurge a little. Go out with friends. Drive with no destination in mind. Start traditions. Say "what the heck" sometimes. Be bold. Be willing to be embarrassed. Laugh a lot. Be passionate about life.  Make a difference. Make memories! 


I know it's a long list. I printed out the key point of each goal - and will hang it in my closet...to remind myself daily to make the most of each moment. To be positive. To love others. And to make time for what matters.

Curl up with a good book and a great God...

This Christmas I got several devotion books from my moms that I'm excited to delve into!

 I started this one last night - and I'm excited to get to know David. The heart and spirit of this "Man after God's own heart". In the past, as I have studied the life of David, I see many flaws. And I see a passion for God. I want to know that. 

  

I have gotten to know Paul a little recently - thanks to a book that is featured below. I used to think he was overrated. But now I see his struggle and admire his triumph. This man of God gave up so much for the cause. I can't wait to get to know him better and, hopefully, to become a better Christian, a better witness, a better minister to others because of Paul's life and ministry.

I honestly don't know much about James. And I've never had strong feelings towards him one way or the other. I'm excited to get to know about him from beginning to end. 

Over the past month I have read several books that have touched my heart and helped me grow in my knowledge of Christianity. I would definitely encourage you to curl up with your Bible and one of the books below - and invite God to curl up next to you.

This book goes through Jesus' life as captured by Luke. You start out with standing in awe with Mary and end up praising your risen Savior. The chapters highlight Jesus' friends, Jesus' miracles, Jesus' experiences - and scripture passages walk you through the story.

This book gave me a soft spot for Paul - as it introduced me to his childhood, gave details into his struggle and his conversion, and laid out his ministry. You suffer with Paul, rejoice with Paul, minister with Paul, struggle with Paul, overcome with Paul, and fall in love with God all over again.

After a few devotionals by Beth Moore - I decided to take a break. It took me a little while to get used to the difference in writing styles, but I found this book to be interesting. A complete study of the lives of several "slightly bad girls" in the Bible. You'll take a trip back in time and get to know Sarai/Sarah, Hagar, Rebekah, Leah, and Rachel a little better than you did before. You'll discover new things about these women of the Bible. And hopefully discover new things about yourself and the forgiving God who loves you just as much as He loved these women.

Complaining.

 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,

but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs,

 that it may benefit those who listen."

Ephesians 4:29

Has anyone ever noticed how much people complain? Even Christians seem to constantly be complaining about something.

Someone didn't do something right. The color of the walls doesn't match the floor. We used to do it this way, and it was so much better. I need two hours instead of one. I didn't order this. My food is cold. That's not good enough. She's a slave driver.  No one does anything right.

It is something that really bothers me: The negativity amongst everyone. How easy it is for us to find something to complain about? Someone to complain about. Something not quite right to dwell on.

Just stop. Think about how blessed we are. We have homes. Cars. Most of us have jobs. Families. Televisions. Air Condition. Bibles. Churches. Freedom. Most of us have our health. We have friends. There are so many blessings that surround us - even on our worst day.

And Christians have the most of all to celebrate. We have a God who loves us and has a plan for us. We have an eternity in heaven (read about it!). Let's look at the bigger picture and realize what's important.

Next time you open your mouth to complain, think of all of the things that God has blessed you with. Think of all of the people who don't have what you have. And be thankful.

(Of course, this blog sounds like I'm complaining about complainers. Forgive me ():)

10 Reasons I can't complain:

10. I am blessed to live in Harnett County-Fuquay Varina, North Carolina - in the United States of America!

9. I have air conditioning. A car. A bed. Too many clothes. A shower. A radio. A television. A computer. I live in a house that would be considered a mansion in many other countries. I have  so much more than I need.

8. I had the opportunity to be educated - at Christian establishments. I learned things. I can read - and have an endless amount of books available to me. I have the gift of writing and sharing messages that way. I had the influence of wonderful teachers, mentors and professors.

7. I have amazing, godly friends who encourage and uplift. And we have memories that make me smile.

6. I am never hungry. I may think I am, but there are five fast food restaurants just a couple of miles away, and I always have enough money for something to eat. I am never hungry.

5. I am healthy. Those I love are healthy. Such a blessing!

4. I have a job that I love! I work with some amazing people and get to know a lot of wonderful students. And I can talk about God and say "Have a blessed day" at the end of my emails (Read about it).

3. My family is nearby - and they constantly support me and encourage me, provide for me and make me better. We get along. We have traditions. We laugh. I have parents who love me.

2. I get to marry my best friend. A really cute and wonderful guy who surprises me with Zaxbys and rubs my shoulders :)

1. I have a God who is there for me, has a plan for me, and saved me.

I challenge you to think of all the reasons that you can't complain.

 "Do everything without grumbling or arguing,

so that you may become blameless and pure,

“children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.

Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.

 And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain."

Philippians 2: 14-16

Eternity.

I am excited about a few future blog posts (stay tuned) that I hope will be uplifting and convicting. But before I uplift and convict there is something I need to share. I don't know who is reading this. I don't know what your situation is, what you're going through, or what you're thinking as you stare at your computer screen. But I do know that there is something I have to tell you. So keep reading - and don't stop.

The Truth

I am going to go to heaven one day.  And I want you to be there with me. We're all going to die or be raptured by Christ and eternity is either heaven or hell.

The only way to heaven is through believing that God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross as a sacrifice for your sin.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, 

that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

John 3:16

It's as simple as that. You can't earn your way to heaven. It's a free gift from a loving God.

But I do believe that your life here on earth will change if you have a true belief in and relationship with Jesus Christ.

And just saying you're a Christian doesn't necessarily make you a Christian. Believing there is a God doesn't necessarily make you a Christian. Posting on Facebook that you believe in Jesus doesn't necessarily make you a Christian.  If you're saved by Jesus Christ, there will be an actual change. A desire to live for Him. A day to day relationship. A conviction. An understanding. A friendship. A respect. You won't be perfect. But you'll want to try to live for Him.

My Story

When I was seven years old, I met my best friend. The One who is always there for me. The One who has a plan for my life, my future. I admitted I was a sinner and asked Jesus to come into my life and into my heart. He has been beside me every since, preparing my way, holding my hand, and carrying me when I need Him too.

It was a few years later, in 5th grade, when I realized that being a Christian, being saved and promised heaven, is more than believing. It is about having a relationship with God, a relationship with Jesus Christ, and living out that relationship with Him. Talking to Him. Listening to Him. Living for Him. Sharing Him. Caring about His desire for my life.

Just recently I have really felt a desire to make a difference for Him. To stop being content to do nothing. To share Him with the world. Find my place in His ministry. Because when I die, I won't answer for what kind of car I drove or the decorations in my house, I won't be responsible for my trip to Disney World or how many kids came to Campbell - I'll be held accountable for what I did for the cause of Christ. And I want to make my God proud.

My Plea

Please come to know Him today. What an awesome moment it would be if you asked Him to save you and began an eternal relationship with your Creator! Heaven awaits - and celebrates with you. And I would love the celebrate with you too. I've included verses on salvation and how to be saved below. Please send me a message or pull me aside if you want to discuss this. It's the most important decision you'll ever make!

Romans 3:23: "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God."
Romans 6:23:  "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Romans 5:8: "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 10:9: "that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved."
Romans 8:38-39: "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Book Review

Just finished reading Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggrichs. This book lays out the biblical command for husbands to love their wives (and gives pointers on how women need love) and for wives to respect their husbands (and shows wives how men desperately need respect to be shown). Going through three different possible cycles in this process, Eggrichs breaks down the core of these desires, the differences between men and women in this area, and principles to move forward loving and/or respecting. 

It was written based on an amazing principle, but I was disappointed. Maybe I just had high expectations because of all the hype...but I expected something more. Don't get me wrong - it has some great principles. Anyone who is struggling in their relationship should definitely pick up a copy and make time to read it. It is definitely biblical based. I didn't disagree with any of the points presented. For some people, the love and respect concept is new - and I think it's an important one to grasp.

But I felt like 60% of the book was redundant. I would have enjoyed the book more if it had just been chapters 16-21 (which focus on respecting a man's desire for conquest, hierarchy,authority, insight, relationship,and sexuality). I did appreciate his point that the marriage relationship is just as much about your relationship with God as it is about your spouse - and I pray I can remember that.

I prefer, and would suggest to anyone in a serious relationship, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes. This book focuses on seven qualities that men long for in a wife. The woman of your man's dreams: prays for him, respects him, adores him, is his friend, safegaurds her marriage and home, encourages him, and sexually fulfills him.  Sharon gives quotes and opinions of real men, and she also includes ideas of ways to show adoration, encouragement, things to build you husband up, things never to say to your husband, etc.

I thought that Jaynes covered everything that Eggrichs did - but she didn't tarry too long on one topic. She gets to the point, provides plenty of detail and support, and gives some great advice and ideas. She gives real world examples (Eggrich does too) and also gives ideas of how we can follow through (I did appreciate the points at the end of the Love and Respect chapters as well). I found Jaynes to be an easier read - and the fact that she's a woman writing to women may be helpful in relating to her.

So which one should you read? Both. I believe you can never be too good of a girlfriend, fiancee, wife, or woman. Both of these books have some great points, and even if it only helps in one or two ways - it's still going to help you become a better person, a better husband, a better (future?) wife. So grab a highlighter and curl up with a good book.

Passion and Priorities

It is my job to tell people about Campbell, and I love it. I meet with new people all of the time - and I share with them my passion about Campbell. Our great programs, our even better professors. The great atmosphere here - that feels like home. I truly believe that Campbell is a great place to be, and I love that I can make a living sharing that with people.
I am constantly thinking of ways I can get people more excited about coming to Campbell. What can I do today to share Campbell with someone? What can I do today to make another student excited about coming? How can I share my passion with them?

I am convicted. Shouldn't I be just as passionate and even more so to tell people about Christ? Shouldn't I make it my mission to tell them about His sacrifice for us? About the amazing joy that He offers to those who build a relationship with Him? Shouldn't I desire to share my passion for Who He is. No matter what is going on in my life - I have a constant peace and joy in knowing that God has a plan for me and He is in control - and I want other people to experience that.
I should constantly be thinking of ways I can make people more excited about Jesus Christ and God's plan for their lives. What can I do today to share Christ with someone? What can I do to make another person excited about getting to know our Lord and being a part of His Kingdom? Shouldn't I be more passionate about that.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39

I already loved him...

I wrote this a while back and saved it...for such a times as this:

There is a man who I have loved as long as I can remember. It wasn’t in a Prince Charming sort of way, and it was hardly in the way that all girls will say they loved, I loved him. It was a painful love, primarily due to my lack of patience. I missed him; I missed the memories I hadn’t yet experienced. I missed him when I looked over at the empty pillow next to me. I missed him when I cooked supper or washed the dishes. I missed him at Christmas’ and when I felt all alone in the middle of a crowded room. I already loved him.

I don’t think I’m like the majority girls, though I was blessed with friends who at least understood. Most people didn’t. In middle school, I began writing to my future husband, and I now have a worn grey journal filled with short, but meaningful words just for him.

I prayed for him – really prayed for him. And I would lie in bed at night and think about him; I wondered if he slept in pajama pants or boxers? Was he asleep or on the computer? Where did he go to school? Did I ever drive past him or glance at him at the grocery store? What was he thinking about? Did he have a girlfriend? …and mostly, did he ever think of me? Could he ever possibly love me as much as I already loved him? Sometimes I would pray that God would hug him for me or let him feel that I loved him. I already loved him.

I remember one time when this love was obvious, although most people would say ridiculous. It was senior year, and all of my friends were having a Valentine’s Day party (chaperoned by parents; PG). Everyone else was dancing, but I wouldn’t…because I only wanted to dance with someone who only wanted to dance with me. It was the last dance and a few of my friends and I hid away, and we prayed for our future husbands. Crazy, right? I already loved him.

In thinking about him and loving him, I never imagined a fairy tale. I never imagined it would be perfect or that he would be. I realized that love is a verb and marriage is commitment. And I began trying to be the best I could be for him. 1 Corinthians 7, Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 13, and Proverbs 31 are probably some of my most read bible passages, most studied words. A wife is to submit, respect. A husband is to love. A wife is to cheer her husband on. Never humiliate him; but wait until the two of you are alone if you disagree with something he did. Stand back and let him be strong, but whisper words of advice and encouragement in his ear. Be a conservative lady in public, realizing that you represent him – but love with unbridled passion behind closed doors. I want to be her, because I already him.

Married women who are reading this may be thinking that I don’t know because I’ve never been married. This is true. I’m not going to be a perfect wife. Sometimes I’ll be selfish, weak, stubborn, unloving. Sometimes I’ll get frustrated and say things I shouldn’t.  Sometimes I may even forget to love him. And I hardly know what I’m getting myself into. But I can’t help it, I already love him.

4: A group of amazing, encouraging, godly friends...

I feel like some Christians live more by rules than relationship. You know those people that can pinpoint what you shouldn't be doing, saying, listening to but don't seem to have a real passion for their Savior?

I have been incredibly blessed, growing up, to have a group of amazing, encouraging, godly friends. They truly are beautiful women, and I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for them.

We all come from different churches. We have different styles of worship. Some of us wear skirts to church, some wear pants, some wear jeans. Some have been in the same church their whole lives, some have struggled to find the Christian environment that is right for them. Some of us go to churches that would labeled as ultra-conservative, some go to more contemporary places of worship. Some of our churches have praise bands with drums and praise songs, while other churches have a traditional choir with hymns. Some of us may lift our hands in worship, while others bow their heads. But the message is the same. The love and joy and forgiveness and encouragement that we find in Christ is all the same!

I am so encouraged by the passion these girls show for Jesus. It has become evident, especially more recently, that they all have a heart for the Lord. We all share a realization of Jesus as our Savior and Friend. We all acknowledge and desire the Biblical plan for marriage; we aim to be Proverbs 31 wives - and we talk about this, encourage one another in this, and celebrate this desire. At lingerie parties, we openly discuss God's plan for sex and His desire for husbands and wives. We discuss our favorite Karen Kingsbury stories or share advice and encouragement through our favorite non-Fiction books (Beth Moore, Dave Ramsey, Intended for Pleasure, Love & Respect). We have coffee house discussions about which disciples we relate to the most and we bask in the realization of God's plan in our lives.

I pray for these girls. And I thank God for them. I hope they do the same for me!

Abundant Joy and Thanks!

I am so thankful for so many things. It would take a novel of pages to express the gratitude that my heart feels. I owe it to God's everlasting mercy to try to share a little bit of my heart and my appreciation in the form of words on a page.

I have grown up in a wonderful, loving home. With a father who provided for us above and beyond our needs; more than that, he constantly lets me know he is proud of me. He looks forward to coming home to his family at the end of each day and spending time with us. And he loves my mother and isn't afraid to say so. I am thankful for that. I have grown up in a taken-care-of, beautiful home. With a mother who worked hard to take care of us and be our number one cheerleader. She is always patient with us and has a positive attitude. She is a great example of a wife and mother. She was the contant party-planner and encourager. I am thankful for that. I have grown up in a crazy, fun home. With a brother who was like a best friend. Who was silly with me, understood me, and loved me. I am thankful for that.

I have a big, crazy, dysfunctional family. All of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents still live within 15 miles of each other. We spend holidays together. Have lunches together. And are the subject of many memories, joys, laughter, headaches, frustrations, and happy times in each other's lives. We are a crazy family. An old-fashion family. A supportive family. I am thankful for that.

I have a group of amazing, godly, encouraging friends who have been in my life, on average, a decade. It’s wonderful when you have a group of girls that you grew up with, dreamed with, laughed with, and made memories with…and now I get to witness them as they become who they always dreamed about being, embracing the future we often wondered about. What would our jobs be? Who would we marry? What did God have planned for our future? We’re there now. Living the future that, as 15 year olds, we stayed up late dreaming about.

Why were we the ones that stuck together? Why are these girls still so woven into my heart that I can't imagine my life (past, present, or future) without them? How does it work out that we only see each other 2-5 times a year, and yet our hearts stay connected as if we never left. Sure, we're growing up and, in a way, growing apart. We don't share every memory anymore. We aren't each other's primary source of laughter and comfort. Yet, we are such an amazing part of each other's lives. And over the past decade, we have made more memories and taught each other more than probably anyone else. Yay for lingerie shower # 3, # 4 is right around the corner :) I am thankful for that.

I have a wonderful, dream job that only God could have planned for. A year ago I was working at a wedding dress shop, struggling to have a positive attitude amidst the chaos. Then I planned to do Public Relations for a bakery in Apex, which would have me working chaotic hours and driving through traffic to get to a negative work atmosphere. I cried when I graduated from Campbell because I didn't want to leave. I thought the future seemed scary...When I heard, through a God-thing, about the job at Campbell, I couldn't get it off my mind. Maybe it was my answer. Maybe. I felt like if I applied then I would get it (not being vain, I just had a feeling). That was my fear. If I applied and got it then I would actually have to do the job. Was I old enough? Mature enough? Here I am. Working an amazing dream job at a place that I've always loved. Working with encouraging people who share my faith and passion. I have a wonderful boss and work family - and I am blessed with the freedom to be creative, innovative, and make a difference in the lives of students. God's plans are so much better than anything we could imagine or achieve on our own. I am thankful for that.

I have my dream guy who is constantly making me smile. Isn't it crazy to realize that Derrick was six miles away growing up? Ten miles down the road all during school. And in the next seat over the first two years of college. Yet, God worked it out so that Junior year of college I realized God had a better plan for me than the one I was currently choosing. God had a man who already made me laugh, challenged me, comforted me, made me roll my eyes, and made me smile...and God was going to allow him to become the hero in my love story. A last minute Christmas party that Derrick wasn't even supposed to be invited to changed everything. And I am so glad it did. Now I am blessed with a man I can be silly with, talk with, laugh with, have a future with. We're not perfect, but we're pretty perfect for each other. I am thankful for that.

What blessings beyond what I deserve! And to think that I have all of that in addition to a bed, air conditioning, a television, the gift of music, legs that walk and eyes that see, a car that has been faithful to get me where I'm going, food when I'm hungry, sweet tea, numerous copies of the bible, a history of godly and well-rounded education, a wonderful church that has accepted me, many families who have welcomed me into their lives, friends, coworkers and acquaintances who warm my heart, a computer to work on, a memory to smile at...and a relationship with a God and Savior who died so that I may live!