Wedding daze

My cousin is getting married this weekend, and I am so happy for her. This will be the first wedding I have attended with Derrick since we've been married, so that makes me even more excited. In the past, as I sat in the audience of a wedding, I'd be taking notes on what I liked, what I'd like to change, and feeling that bittersweet longing of hope for my own wedding day.

Now I get to understand how it feels, truly be happy for what they're going through, truly understand what they're promising, reflect on my own love story, and feel the peace, satisfaction and hope of knowing.

Sometimes I think about my own wedding day, and I panic to know that I can never go back and relive it. I'm glad it's over though. I'm much better at being a wife than I was at being a bride.

As a bride, you spend so much time thinking of the food, the flowers, the colors, the dresses, the shoes, the songs, the linens, the centerpieces...in reality, those aren't the important things. Those things all came together - but they really aren't worth all the fuss.

So, what did I miss during my wedding day?

I can't remember my first thought that morning. The first time I saw my Daddy. What I talked to my bridesmaids about during breakfast. What we talked about while we got our nails done. What Derrick and I talked about during our first dance. I hate that I can't remember.

I wish we had gotten more professional pictures of our bridal party. 

And more pictures of just Derrick and me.

I wish I had taken pictures with each table and had conversations with each person there. That may sound silly - but I regret not taking more time with each person. Not capturing that moment and that day with each person that was there to share it with me. 

I wish I had taken time  to eat. I don't remember what food we had, and I didn't eat any of it.

 I wanted a fruit and cheese table, and I never even saw it.

And what do I most cherish/remember about my wedding day?

The very Derrick and Renee details - that made it uniquely ours. Our "cast list" programs. Our awesome green and pink sand. Our guest favor cups (we still have plenty if you want one).  Our beautiful china lanterns that our bridal party worked their butts off to put up were my favorite decoration - it made the dance floor magical. I love that our colors (green, orange, pink) were not only my favorite colors but each signified something. It was very us - and that's what I think a wedding should be. 

 

The moments right before it was time for the ceremony when my 

bridesmaids did and said silly things to keep me distracted.

 

The moment when all the bridesmaids had cleared out. 

I was alone in the bridal suite, and it took all of my composure to keep from losing it. 

Then Daddy came to get me. He also let me know that it wasn't too late to run :)

 

I always watch the guy as the bride appears. Always. And I had this fear that Derrick would just have a blank look when people watched him see me. Instead, his face mimicked everything I was feeling and there was no doubt he was so happy for that moment and forever. 

Leading up to the wedding, I was convinced that no one would dance, and that Derrick would have a miserable time at the reception. I think one of my favorite things was how happy Derrick was...how silly he was with his friends, how precious he was with me.

McDonalds. After the wedding, on our drive home, I was so thirsty. 

We stopped at McDonalds - in his tux and my wedding dress - and got sweet tea :)

Our wedding day was a dream come true. It was amazing. It was a day I had prayed for for so long. God was there and had blessed it so many times over. But it was just a day. A day that began a lifetime that matters just as much.